Getting Caught Up...

I've been dragging my feet lately, because I got a copy of Guitar Pro 5, and I've been transcribing songs like crazy with it. But today, I'm going to get caught up with some of the things I have caught from the blogs, the radio, and the occasional bit of TV between songs. (In no particular order.)

Let's get started, shall we?

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First, Tom DeLay has announced that he's not going to run for re-election, even though he already won the TX-22 primary. According to a Time magazine article:

The surprise decision was based on the sort of ruthless calculation that had once given him unchallenged dominance of House Republicans and their wealthy friends in Washington's lobbying community: he realized he might lose in this November's election. DeLay got a scare in a Republican primary last month, and a recent poll taken by his campaign gave him a roughly 50-50 shot of winning, in an election season when Republicans need every seat they can hang onto to avoid a Democratic takeover of the House [...]

So, basically, Tommy's not absolutely certain he's going to win, so he's dropping out before he has to face defeat under the weight of his own failures. (Speaking of which, how's that indictment coming along, Tom?) How truly Republican of him to cut and run when he can't fix the odds in his favor.

DeLay's retirement will likely take place sometime next month, when he changes his residence to his condo in Virginia.

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Next, Katherine Harris is trying to put a good face on her "imploding" run for the Senate. Unfortunately, it's this face:


She's a MAN, baby!

However, to her credit, Harris has decided to stay the course, because she believes she has the right assets. See if you can figure out what they are from this helpful photograph:

(Photo shamelessly lifted from the comments section of an article on Daily Kos.)

Yikes.

Anyway, on March 21st Harris promised that she would put her entire $10 million inheritance into her senatorial run, prompting the creation of a new website called MakeHerSpendItAll.com. Later that day, her staff explained exactly what she meant by that:

Due largely to her repeating the phrase, "I'm putting everything on the line," folks assumed she meant she was adding that cash to the inheritance money she'd already pledged to spend. In other words, we understood she was actually putting "everything" on the line.

But now her campaign says she's not spending her inheritance, only her liquidated assets, which Harris says also total $10 million.

Money quote: "I think I'm being pretty clear," her campaign spokeswoman Morgan Dobbs told the Orlando Sentinel.

As clear as mud.

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Why isn't Dick Cheney singing on American Idol?

While speaking to a crowd at a campaign stop on Orlando, Florida, Vice President "Big Dick" Cheney said of Democrats, "If they are competent to fight this war, then I ought to be singing on American Idol."

This from the guy who got five deferments to avoid serving in the military and is second banana to a guy who joined the National Guard to avoid going to Vietnam, and then went AWOL. And there are countless other Republicans in the White House and Congress who avoided having to wear a uniform and learn to march.

The Democrats, on the other hand, have a pretty solid record of military participation. Sure, Bill Clinton didn't, but he was honest about it and never started a war for profit resulting in over 2300 members of the military dying, as well as at least 30,000 Iraqi civilians.

Anyway, it seems to me that most Democratic politicians are more competent to fight this "war" than pretty much every Republican politician combined. So start singin', DICK!

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WashingtonPost.com hired the co-founder of RedState.com, 24-year old Ben "Box Turtle" Domeneche, to write a blog on their website called Red America. Domeneche was hired supposedly to bring "balance" to the Post's website.

Almost immediately, bloggers like Atrios and Daily Kos (among many others) went to work on Ben, trying to show that he was incompetent, at best. What they found, though, was even more intriguing than an uninformed chickenhawk Republican. It turns out that Domeneche was also a serial plagiarist! (Here are just a few of them. More are available.)

Best of all, he lifted almost an entire article from P.J. O'Rourke, whom he claimed had given him permission to use the article. (He did not, however, offer any credit.) O'Rourke, when contacted, said he didn't ever recall even meeting Domeneche, let alone giving him permission to copy the article.

After blaming the whole thing on editors from the newspaper he worked at during his time in college (he dropped out), he resigned two days later to the cheering of Lefties everywhere. Good times.

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And finally, Senator Russ Feingold's censure resolution got a little more support from Democrats in the Senate, as well as an actual hearing. Of course, the whole thing is a farce, and nothing will happen - at least until November, when midterm elections may give control of one or both houses of Congress back to the Democrats. (Sort of like the Jedi coming back into power after the long reign of the Sith. Please refrain from calling me a nerd because I used this metaphor.)

And that about wraps it up. I do, however, want to say a quick "howdy" to Dexter, who has apparently been checking by from time to time to see if I'm alive. So, hiya, Dex!

Oh yeah... And Kim is an animal. That's all you need to know.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)