"Mmmm... unexplained bacon." - Homer Simpson
Thomas: Tony, how does the president respond to this latest story from the Sentinnel?Snow: Well, the president feels--Thomas: The story says that the president has bypassed FISA again--Snow: Yes, I know what it--Thomas: --and many suggest that the president has gone too far.Snow: As I was saying--Thomas: Again.Snow: If I could just answer--Thomas: I wish you would.Snow: I'm try--Thomas: The American people deserve an answer.Snow: (Pushing aside the podium and rushing into the press pit, lifting Thomas from her chair by her collar) Shut up! SHUT UP, YOU HATEFUL HAG! (Begins shaking her) For the love of God... BE QUIET! You want the truth? Fine! It's all illegal! Happy? We're trying to get rid of the Constitution because the president feels it's outdated in the post-9/11 world! Happy? HAPPY?!? (Drops Thomas back into her chair.)Unidentified Reporter: Tony, if I could ask a question--Snow: Yes. Chris.Thomas: All I wanted to ask was--Snow: Shut up, Helen, or so help me God, I'll cut you! Chris?Unidentified Reporter: Thank you, Tony. As a follow-up to Helen's question, are you saying that the White House acknowledges that these programs are all illegal? And if so, how does the presideint feel about this?Snow: Is that what I said?Unidentified Reporter: Yes. Yes it is.Snow: Sorry about that. I, uh...I misspoke. What I meant to say was, this program is, like the other programs before it, completely legal and constitutional. We've had Karl take a look at it, as well as the guy at the donut shop down the street, and they both say we're standing on pretty solid ground here.Unidentified Reporter: So your previous statement--Snow: My previous statement...never happened. Now gaze into the Evil Eye of Tony Snow.Entire Press Corps: Yes, master. We willingly give up our rights to make the country safer.
posted by DrClayForrester at 6/27/2006 11:38:00 PM
I knew it wouldn't take long for Snow to snap.
Oh no! Now they wiil think I am an Al-Queda operative just cuz I wear an arab strap! See you at Gitmo!
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Divorced twice (because I obviously didn't learn my lesson), I now live with a friend and several guitars. I have three kids that are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Oh, and when threatened, I can inflate to five times my normal size.
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All materials contained herein © 2005-2006 by Derek Springer.