The DCF News

God's First Press Conference In 2000 Years: He's Pissed

2006-07-24T18:45:00.000-04:00

Heaven - (DCF) - Lifting a ban on press conferences for the first time in over 2,000 years, God spoke candidly with reporters this morning about ongoing strife in the Middle East, the actions of the United States government, and the End Times. Here is a transcript of the press conference.

God: Good morning. As most of you know - especially Helen Thomas, who was at My last press conference; Hi, Helen! - I haven't really had a lot to say. My methods, ineffable as they are, made it so you, the people of this universe I have created for you, could try to figure out things on your own. Unfortunately, it appears that most of you didn't come to realize this, and so you want Me to do your thinking for you.
When I created all of this for you - the Earth, the sun, the moon, the rest of Creation - I wanted nothing but the best for all of you. I did what little needed to be done in order to give you the perfect place to start, and then I sat back and watched, trying to interfere as little as possible once I got the ball rolling. I wanted to see what you would do with what I had given you. To say that I've been incredibly disappointed would be a gross understatement. The term "pig's ear" is just scratching the surface, really.
I gave you animals, that you might eat their flesh and wear their fur for warmth. I was hoping, however, that you'd be able to show a little restraint. You let me down, mankind, and have succeeded in killing most of them off. Way to go.
I gave you shelter in caves, so that you would be able to stay warm and dry when it rained. You responded by vandalizing - I said vandalizing - the walls with pictures of you and your friends killing the animals I gave you. Again, nice job.
I gave you intelligence, and you used it to make weapons. Weapons that, instead of being used to hunt the animals (with restraint) so you could feed your families, you used against each other. That's not what I had intended.
And the spears, rocks, and arrows you had weren't good enough; you had to make things that went "BANG!" And you used them on each other again, trying to get rid of the people you didn't get with the spears, rocks, and arrows. How very sad that you cannot see eye to eye with each other and realize that you are all the same, regardless of which religion you choose.
And speaking of religion, what's all this "Doing It in God's Name" stuff? I haven't asked for any of this. And I certainly do not advocate killing each other over a patch of land that is, quite frankly, no more holy than any other place on the planet. I made it all, didn't I? You can't get more holy than that. I worked so hard to create you, and to suggest that I support the idea of destroying any of you is, at best, ludicrous. I do not condone it, and I most certainly do not support it.
Which brings me to another point: What is this "End Times" business? Relax, people. The Rapture - if I even decide to go through with it - is a long way off. And here's why: Those people just creep Me out. Look at them. All they talk about is the end of humanity as they know it, and they're excited for it, because they think they're going to be sitting at My right hand. I don't think so. The last thing I want is a bunch of loonies up here, slouching around and bothering Me with their problems. I've got real problems to worry about.
For instance, I've got to deal with these yahoos in the United States who are trying to appease Me. Like this stem cell thing I've heard about. If I've read this right - and there's no reason to believe I haven't because I'm God, and therefore infallible - stem cell research could potentially cure diseases that, right now, are incurable. Well, that sounds good to Me. I mean, what happened to "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"? I think I heard that in a Star Trek movie or something, and it makes complete sense to me. But in the United States, they've put a man in charge who, believing he's doing My will, refuses to let that research be done. Not too bright, is he?
The same guy has also started a war against a country that did nothing to his. I know for a fact that I never said that I wanted that.
So, people of the United States, let me ask you this: What were you thinking? Is this the best choice you had available to you? If so, I'd hate to see what the other guy was like.
And don't even get me started about that Cheney guy. He's not one of mine.
Let me say this about other people - and they know who they are - who claim they are talking to Me: Don't believe them. If I wanted to get a message out to all of you, I'd do it Myself, like I am today. I wouldn't go to Pat Robertson and say, "Hey, could you let everyone know..." I have a press agent - his name is Saint Peter - and I tell him what I want people to know, and he handles it for Me. Hi, Pete. Good to see you.
And that's it, really. I'd like to finish my statement by telling all of you to be nice to each other, because you're all you've got. Oh, I'm still around, and I'm watching, but you're on Earth to try to help each other. If I didn't think you could do it, I'd be down there Myself, guiding you along. But I still think you've got it in you to impress me. You've just got to start thinking for yourselves. Go to it.

God then took questions from the reporters.

Q: Thank you, sir. Concerning your statement about the End Times, could you be a bit more specific about how far "a long way off" is?
God: I'm sorry, no. You see, the thing is, if I went around telling people when the End Times were going to be - you know, being specific about time and date, like you're asking - can you imagine the problems it would case for, say, credit card companies? Some goober finds out that the End Times are on, for instance, the Thursday after next, and decides to max out his Visa because he believes he's not going to be around when the bill comes due. That's no way to be.
Q: So you have consulted with the credit card companies about the specific date of the End Times?
God: No, it was just an example.
Q: So it's not the Thursday after next?
God: No! What is it with you people? It was just an example!
Q: You said that you thought President Bush was a bad choice because of his opinions on stem cell research and the war in Iraq--
God: It's not a war. Nobody has declared war.
Q: Okay. But the point of my question is this: Are you saying you don't support President Bush?
God: Look, let me say it like this: It's not a matter of whether I support one guy or the other. It's about whether I support the ideas that are being put forth. It wouldn't matter if it was this guy or that guy, so long as he was trying to help his fellow man. Stifling the efforts of scientists who are trying to make the world a better place - and that includes the ones working on Global Warming - is wrong, especially when there is proof that they've made advances that can help humanity.
Q: Can you give examples? Of things science has done that have helped humanity?
God: Sure. Look at how much the average lifespan has lengthened since I first created you? Humans' lifespan have increased dramatically since you were first put here by Me.
Q: What about Methuselah?
God: That guy was a fluke. And he was a bit weird at the end, so he's not really a good representative example.
Q: Can you tell us why it is that you've taken so long between press conferences?
God: In all honesty, I didn't want to do this one. See, the whole point of all of this - you, the Earth, the animals, the plants...everything - was to see what happened. I started things, as I said, and then sat back to see where you took yourselves. I wanted to be completely hands-off with this project.
Q: So the reason you finally came back to talk to us is...?
God: Because you've cocked it up so badly. I figured I'd come tell you that I wasn't happy with the way it was going. Maybe it would get you on the right track again. One more chance, humanity, and then I wipe the slate clean and start over.
Q: So you want us to go back to church and start worshipping again?
God: Good Me, no. I'm really pretty shy. I don't need the extra attention, in all honesty. Especially with those religious fruit loops doing all those stupid things and then saying they did it for Me. No, I think what you should really do is start paying closer attention to each other, rather than Me. These other people you share your world with are the ones you have to deal with on a daily basis during your life. You won't have to answer to me until you're dead, and to tell the truth, I'd be more inclined to listen to what you have to say if you spent your time helping your fellow man instead of sitting in church and giving 10% of your paycheck to a guy in a suit.
Q: So you're against tithing?
God: Well, yeah. We don't even have money here in Heaven. Which is just as well, because I never see a nickel of the money those guys take in down there. It all goes to radio and television stations, and air conditioned dog houses. Let Me say it again: You need to look out for each other. You're all you've got, and if you spend the time you have left down there - and, cosmically, it's the blink of an eye - trying to talk to Me instead of turning and talking to the person sitting next to you, you're wasting the time I've given you.
I've got time for one last question, and then I have to take My Son to an appearance on a bagel in New Jersey.
Q: I've got one, with a possible follow-up.
God: Go ahead.
Q: Which religion is the right one?
God: Ha! I knew this was coming. The truth? None of them, really. They're all too wrapped up in trying to please Me by doing everything they can to destroy all the other ones, which, as I say, isn't the way to do it. I bet it'll be a huge surprise to those guys when they get here and realize that it's all the same.
Q: Could you clarify that?
God: It's simple. It's all about Me. Pick a religion. When they talk about their "god," they're talking about Me. Muslims? Yeah, they're praying to Me. Christians? Catholics? Same deal. One God. That's it. Jews, too. The expressions on their faces when they get here is priceless, let me tell you. Especially when I get wrapped up in a meeting and I have My Son go meet them for the tour. Talk about shocked expressions! (Laughter) You had a follow-up?
Q: Yes, thank you. Well, in light of this revelation, it's different than my original question. What about cultures that had more than one god, such as Ancient Greece?
God: Yeah, those guys just didn't know when to quit, did they? Anyway, they were all Me. I had this great wig guy who helped me out with the costumes. It actually made it a bit easier when they were doing their thing, because I knew if it was this group, it concerned this issue, and if it was that group, it was a different issue. I had a really organized system for them. Now, everyone wants Me to take care of everything all at once, and there's no order to it. Oh, Me, what I wouldn't do for a vacation.
Those are all the questions I'm going to take, but let Me close by saying this: Pay attention, humanity, because no matter how long it is before I finally decide to shut down the whole project, you still have the intervening time to deal with each other, and it won't work if you're not willing to recognize that the person standing in front of you is the same as you, regardless of what color their skin is or who they pray to. (Laughter) I can't say this enough. You've got each other, and that's the greatest gift I could have ever given you. Don't waste it by trying to do all kinds of terrible things to each other.
Be good to each other. Or so help Me, I'll come back and put the fear of...er...Me into you!
Thank you.

All the best,

Derek

(DCF)

Bush the Lesser Uses First Veto - Screws That Up, Too!

2006-07-20T05:47:00.000-04:00

For the first time in the 5 1/2 years he has occupied the White House, George "Dubya" Bush used his veto power - a power he has threatened to use (but never had) in the past - against a bill that would allow an increase in funding for embryonic stem cell research, claiming the bill "crossed a moral boundary."

A moral boundary? This, coming from a man who has sold out his country to the highest bidders, allowed corruption to run rampant through Congress, started an undeclared war against a soveriegn nation that had done nothing to the United States, supported torture, courted those who trained and financed terrorists, and continues to ignore the Constitution in order to advance his own paranoia? Just amazing.

The embryos that would be used for this research - research that could, potentially, bring about the cure of countless diseases - would be frozen embryos that had been left unused by fertility clinics. But that's not good enough for Dubya, who, while refusing to allow the press to cover his veto of the bill, still took the time for a photo op with a group of children.

"These boys and girls are not spare parts," he said of the children in the audience. "They remind us of what is lost when embryos are destroyed in the name of research. They remind us that we all begin our lives as a small collection of cells."

Puh-leez.

The House attempted to override the veto, but found themselves 51 votes short.

*****

Elsewhere, more people died as Israel and Lebanon continued fighting. This has been coming for a long time, and finally came to fruition last week, when Israel decided that they'd had enough of Hezbollah, attacking Lebanon with missles, bombing attacks, rocks, sticks, and possibly a few pies. Republicans like former House Speaker Newt "The Moralist" Gingrich (who approached his second wife in the hospital with his divorce demands while she was still recovering from cancer surgery) are insisting that Republicans should frame this as the beginnings of World War III in order to firm up the Republican base for the November mid-term elections in Congress. And yet they accuse Democrats of trying to politicize everything. Just amazing.

*****

Meanwhile, while the U.N. is trying to stop the fighting, Dubya was in Russia, taking part in the G8 Summit, where he was caugth cursing on live video and audi o, and then attempted to give the German Chancellor an unwanted shoulder rub. The expression on her face says more than anything I could write. It's also a prime example of the kind of image this faux cowboy presents to the civilized world. How proud we all are.

*****

Back here in the U.S., the campaigns for Congressional mid-terms have been very entertaining. Here are two of my favorites:

In Connecticut, challenger Ned Lamont had his first debate against DINO ("Democrat In Name Only") Joe Lieberman. Both men are trying to win the Democratic nomination for Senate on August 8th. Since the debate, in which Lamont held his own quite well, Lieberman has pulled out all the stops, going so far as to question Lamont's dedication to the Democratic party. This would be a reasonable question to ask, were it not for the fact that Lieberman intends to run as an Independent (Connecticut For Lieberman) if he should lose the Dem primary. Pot, meet kettle.

In Florida - you remember 2000 in Florida, right? - Katherine Harris' campaign continues to eat itself alive under her clearly insane leadership. There's just too much fun stuff to list here, so I'd just suggest going here and reading about it. Then laugh. A lot.

And there you have it. My round up for the time being. It's not complete by any means, but it's the stuff that caught my attention.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

VP Cheney's Stunning Physical Results

2006-07-01T13:38:00.000-04:00

An Undisclosed Location - (DCF) - As has been widely reported in the media, Vice President Richard "Cranium" Cheney went for his annual physical today.

Vice-President Cheney at the 2004 Republican National Convention

The results of the physical were generally positive, but there were a few small anomolies that caught the attention of the attending physician, Dr. Nick Riviera.

"Hi, everybody! The initial tests came back showing the vice president in very good condition," Dr. Riviera told reporters at a press conference shortly after the physical. "He's in very good shape, especially for a man who has suffered almost as many heart attacks as he's had deferments from military service."

There were a few tense moments, Dr. Riviera conceded, as an assistant attempted to collect blood samples. "As many people know - some of whom aren't even doctors! - we prefer that a patient doesn't eat or drink anything for at least eight hours before a physical. However, even in the brief period he was in the waiting room, my receptionist told me that he was continuously drinking from a large mug labeled 'Virgin Blood'."

Dr. Riviera added that it took all seven Secret Service agents to wrest the mug from Cheney long enough for the nurse to draw blood. The vice president fought hard to keep the mug, insisting that it kept him "on top of my game."

Shortly after, the nurse quit her job. "You'd think she's never seen it when it glows green," Dr. Riviera told reporters.

One of the most unusual findings during the physical concerned Cheney's heart. Sort of.

"We couldn't find it!" Dr. Riviera said. "We looked all over for it, but could find nothing fo the sort."

What, then, reporters asked, was the vice president's pacemaker connected to?

"It was wired directly to a small, black lump of some sort of carbon-like material," Riviera said. "We took it out, and the boys in the lab took a look. They had no idea what it was, so now we're going to send it to NASA and see if they can figure it out."

Dr. Riviera assured reporters that the removal of the object doesn't appear to have had any effect on the vice president.

Apparently, Riviera added, there had been modifications made to the pacemaker since its original installation. Secondary wires fed off from the main ones, and were connected to Cheney's colon. "This would explain that squinty look he has all the time," said Dr. Riviera.

The vice president's sneer, however, appears to be a natural extension of his intense hatred of all human beings, Dr. Riviera said. "It's not a medical condition," he added. "He is just an ornery cuss."

Until the rest of Vice President Cheney's test results come back, very little else can be established.

"Until I see the final results, for all I know he's a bald, albino warthog," said Dr. Riviera. "And remember: I'll do bypass surgery on anyone for $129.95! Just call 1-800-DOCTORB! The B stands for 'bargain'! Bye, everybody!"

All the best,

Derek

(DCF)

NSA Forced Out of the Closet

2006-06-27T23:38:00.000-04:00

Washington, D.C. - (DCF) - A week after the New York Times announced that the White House has initiated yet another possibly illegal program which calls for monitoring the bank transactions of tens of thousands of Americans, further revelations have come to light that the administration has stepped even further over the line of citizens' personal freedoms.

The Red Bank (New Jersey) Sentinnel announced this morning that another program, believed to have been active since late 2002, has allowed for as many as four NSA agents to be installed in the closets of one out of every three citizens to monitor activities in those citizens' bedrooms.

Once again, the White House has not asked for permission from the FISA court.

When questioned by Helen Thomas about this latest revelation, White House spokesmonkey Tony Snow said that the White House had briefed the head of the House Judiciary Committee, and the program was completely legal and constitutional.

Thomas: Tony, how does the president respond to this latest story from the Sentinnel?

Snow: Well, the president feels--

Thomas: The story says that the president has bypassed FISA again--

Snow: Yes, I know what it--

Thomas: --and many suggest that the president has gone too far.

Snow: As I was saying--

Thomas: Again.

Snow: If I could just answer--

Thomas: I wish you would.

Snow: I'm try--

Thomas: The American people deserve an answer.

Snow: (Pushing aside the podium and rushing into the press pit, lifting Thomas from her chair by her collar) Shut up! SHUT UP, YOU HATEFUL HAG! (Begins shaking her) For the love of God... BE QUIET! You want the truth? Fine! It's all illegal! Happy? We're trying to get rid of the Constitution because the president feels it's outdated in the post-9/11 world! Happy? HAPPY?!? (Drops Thomas back into her chair.)

Unidentified Reporter: Tony, if I could ask a question--

Snow: Yes. Chris.

Thomas: All I wanted to ask was--

Snow: Shut up, Helen, or so help me God, I'll cut you! Chris?

Unidentified Reporter: Thank you, Tony. As a follow-up to Helen's question, are you saying that the White House acknowledges that these programs are all illegal? And if so, how does the presideint feel about this?

Snow: Is that what I said?

Unidentified Reporter: Yes. Yes it is.

Snow: Sorry about that. I, uh...I misspoke. What I meant to say was, this program is, like the other programs before it, completely legal and constitutional. We've had Karl take a look at it, as well as the guy at the donut shop down the street, and they both say we're standing on pretty solid ground here.

Unidentified Reporter: So your previous statement--

Snow: My previous statement...never happened. Now gaze into the Evil Eye of Tony Snow.

Entire Press Corps: Yes, master. We willingly give up our rights to make the country safer.

Numerous former Republican congressmen, including Bob Packwood and Newt Gingrich, have come forward to stand beside the current Republicans in Congress in support of this new program, many of them going so far as to point out that their support has nothing to do with the fact that the NSA allows them to review any "really interesting" videotapes recorded during the surveillance.

Most current Democratic congresspersons do not, however, share the White House's belief that the program is legal, and have also expressed disappointment that they weren't given access to the tapes for review.

The only Democrat to come out in favor of the program is Connecticut senator Joe Lieberman, who stated that it was vitally important to protecting America, and not just because "I really, really, really love George W. Bush." Lieberman added, "Man...what a kisser..."

More on this story as it develops.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Yes, I AM Angry...

2006-06-19T16:48:00.000-04:00

(Cross-posted at Daily Kos.)

I received a comment today concerning my last blog post, and I feel I should directly respond to with a post of its own.

Here's the comment:

Chico said...

DCF, you sound angry. I am angry too about all of this BS. These right wing looneys are callous, arrogant, popous asses. But some 60 million people (supposedly) thought it would be a good idea to give these cowards another 4 years back in Nov '04. Mind boggling.

10:53 AM

Well, yes, Chico, I am angry. In fact, I'll do you one better and say that I am pissed-off about countless things concerning this administration, not the least of which was Snow's callous and shameful remark, which shows exactly how he and those he works for view those brave men and women who have died in Iraq as nothing more than "a number".

I'm pissed-off because we shouldn't even have our soldiers there in the first place. I'm pissed because some of us were foolish enough to believe the lies that led us there. I'm pissed-off because of the lies themselves. I'm pissed-off because now, three-and-a-half years later, we're still there, even though those lies have been exposed for what they are, but the people in the Republican-controlled Congress who are supposed to be representing us - you and I - have all but completely relinquished their oversight of the person who got us into this, allowing him to do whatever he wants under the guise of fighting his ridiculous "War on Terror".

I'm pissed-off about "Mission Accomplished" because it clearly was not.

I'm pissed-off that Dubya still hasn't managed to catch the guy who was responsible for killing 1300 innocent people on September 11th, 2001 before traipsing off to another country to settle a score with the guy who made his Poppy look like an idiot.

I'm pissed-off because the man who got us into this undeclared "war" has not let something as trivial as the Constitution - a document designed to ensure that this country would never become a dictatorship - stop him from taking steps to create a police state.

I'm pissed-off that while he has focused on taking over another country, he has let the one he's supposed to be taking care of fall by the wayside. I'm pissed-off that "No Child Left Behind" has left almost all the children behind, forcing schools to teach kids to test well rather than teaching them the things they'll need to know when they get out of school. I'm pissed-off that his job creation since he first took office is still in the negative numbers six-and-a-half years later. I'm pissed-off that he has given the largest tax breaks to the wealthiest 1%, while the other 99% of us have been getting poorer. I'm even more pissed-off that he did this at a time when we are supposed to be "at war." I'm pissed-off that he refused to sign the Kyoto Protocol, which was intended to reduce greenhouse gas emissions that are destroying the ozone layer of the planet.

I'm pissed-off about the so-called elections of 2000 and 2004. Both have been called into question, quite rightly, although there's nothing that we can really do about them. Nobody is going to give us back the past six-and-a-half years.

I'm pissed-off that these same idiots who are going on and on about what a great guy Dubya is, even in the face of mounting evidence that he truly is the worst president ever, were so hot to see Bill Clinton swing for getting a blowjob in the Oval Office, an event that should have been nobody's business but his and his wife's. Back then, they were all full of moralistic zeal. Where did that all go, now that the current Idiot-in-Chief is responsible for the deaths of over 2500 Americans and God alone knows how many innocent Iraqi men, women and children?

I'm pissed-off that Congress is more concerned about keeping gay men and women from getting married and flag burning than they are about making sure everyone has affordable healthcare and a roof over their heads. I'm pissed off that those same congresspersons are not taking care of their constituents because they are too busy lining their pockets with special interest money from corporations who could care less if we live or die.

I'm pissed-off because of all the people who died last year as a result of Hurricane Katrina. I'm even more pissed-off because of the ones who died after because FEMA and the rest of the government were running around with their dicks in their hands. I am incredibly pissed-off that they knew it was coming, promised to help, and then completely failed to do so.

I'm pissed-off because the petrolium companies used Katrina and its follow-up, Rita, as an excuse to screw the American people by raising the prices of their products to ridiculous heights. I'm pissed-off that they used a national tragedy to garner record-breaking profits through price-gouging that continues to this day.

Chico, you said "some 60 million people (supposedly) thought it would be a good idea to give these cowards another 4 years back in Nov '04." While that, in itself, is questionable, I'm still pissed-off - and, quite frankly, shocked - that even 33% of those who have been here on Earth with the rest of us still think that smirking asshole is doing a good job. What the fuck is wrong with those people?

I'm pissed-off that right now, as I type this, there is probably a computer somewhere recording every keystroke and branding me a traitor because I'm speaking my mind.

So, yes. I am pissed-off. You should be, too. If you're not, you haven't been paying attention.

DCF

2500 dead soldiers? "It's a number..."

2006-06-15T21:34:00.000-04:00

Tony Snow, "former" Fox News whore and current White House press bitch, acknowledged today that 2500 is, in fact, a number.

Dan Bartlett (left) and Tony Snow (right) try to
make each other laugh with their Sgt. Schultz impressions.

The problem, however, is that Snow, shown above quietly soiling himself as he flies over Iraq during President Bush's unannounced trip this week, was referring to the number of US soldiers killed in Iraq as of today. Here's the number again, in case it hasn't quite sunk in:

2500

That is how many people like you and me - people who are just there to do the job they are supposed to do, people with families - who have died in this so-called "war" against insurgents that have been, according to Vice President "Big" Dick Cheney, in their "last throes" for three-plus years. That's how many people have been killed since Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said those soldiers would be "greeted as liberators."

That is how many people have died since the President of the United States, a man who has never been in combat, put aside a hunt for the man responsible for the deaths of more than 1500 Americans in the attack on September 11th, 2001, and chose to invade a country that had never done anything to the United States, using a web of lies to justify it.

2500 lives...gone. And all Tony Snow has to say about it is "it's a number"?

Question: Tony, American deaths in Iraq have reached 2,500. Is there any response or reaction from the president on that?

Snow: You know, it's a number, and every time there's one of these 500-benchmarks, people want something.

Yes, Tony. They do. They want it to be over. They want the senseless deaths to stop. And not just the deaths of our brave soldiers who are over there doing all the shit work that is heaped upon them while their so-called Commander-in-Chief sits safely in Washington, D.C. demanding that the terrorists "bring it on," but the deaths of innocent Iraqi citizens, as well.

How about that number, Tony? If 2500 dead American soldiers is a tragedy, then the death of 28,355 or more innocent Iraqi citizens should be a fucking crime.

DCF

Where Is That 35%, Anyway?

2006-06-05T16:35:00.000-04:00

As has been noted just about everywhere on Earth, Dubya's approval rating is in the tank. Some suggest he's bottomed-out, although these are the same people who have been saying exactly the same thing each time a new poll comes out with a new low.

Anyway, for quite some time, Dubya's approval rating has floated around 35%. I've often wondered where, exactly, that 35% lives. How we have a visual. Oboserve:

Idaho and Utah. Ah. That explains it.

(Animation courtesy of dreaminonempty at Daily Kos.)

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Gore Hype: Distracting Us From What's Important RIGHT NOW?

2006-06-04T17:43:00.000-04:00

(Cross-posted at Daily Kos.)

Let me start this off by saying that I like Al Gore. I like him enough that I voted for him in 2000, like the majority of Americans did. I also like him enough that, if he were to decide to run in 2008, I would most certainly vote for him again.

But right now, at this time, there's something we should be paying a lot more attention to, rather than pushing for a Gore presidential run in two years' time: This year's upcoming midterm elections.

Gore's new film, An Inconvenient Truth, is generating a lot of discussion right now, which is good. It's get people who may not have thought about global warming previously to actually ponder the consequences of what we and our "elected" representatives are allowing to happen to the planet. It's also changing the minds of many who didn't believe that we are a major part of the problem. Again, that's awesome, and I fully support Gore's efforts to bring attention to this.

Myself, I haven't been able to see the film yet, as it hasn't shown up anywhere near me where I could reasonably expect to make the trip. (My car is on its last legs.) However, when it shows in Flint, Michigan later this month, there's nothing that will stop me from seeing it. And I'll probably write about it in the same glowing terms I've read from others who have seen it.

As you can see from the long-winded introduction I've just written, even for someone who has not seen the film, the whole Gore phenomenon tends to catch you up and keep you entangled in it. And that's what I wanted to discuss.

Right now, as I type this, we are in the run-up to the mid-term elections that could put the House and Senate back in our hands. A substantial amount of time and space have been put into making sure we're all aware of this, especially here, at Daily Kos, where we are regularly kept abreast of the current polls in many of the congressional districts that are up for grabs.

However, as I surf back and forth between the other "mainstream" news sources available out there, I'm not seeing it nearly as much as I think I should be seeing it, especially considering how historical this election cycle may turn out to be.

It seems that the only time anything about any of the current campaigns or those that are running shows up in the press is when someone is (allegedly) caught doing something that they shouldn't have been. Case in point, the ongoing (and admittedly entertaining) hoopla surrounding the Katherine Harris mess that's masquerading as a campaign. Sure, it's good for a laugh, but what about all the others?

Ned Lamont is getting a lot of press concerning his run against Lieberman. The stories are valid, as is the interest. However, it appears the fact that he's challenging Joe Lieberman is secondary, from most of the stories I've read. Instead, they focus on Lieberman's DINO status, as well as the support Lamont has gotten from the netroots.

Francine Busby in CA-50 is getting attention, too, but I sumbit that this is because it was Randy "Duke" Cunningham's district, and the scandal caught the attention of many national news sources. The people who want to fill the spot are, at best, secondary to the folks who write the stories for the "mainstream media".

These three items are, really, the only ones that I can recall seeing mentioned regularly on television and on the various news sites. It's not really that surprising, in that these various races that aren't being mentioned are, technically, "local" issues (a guy living in Oregon can't vote in the Michigan election, so why should he care?), although they will help decide who will be making the rules on a national basis.

With the current possibility, as I mentioned above, of the Democrats retaking both houses of Congress looking more and more likely, it seems that the importance of it has taken a backseat to Al Gore coming out from his own "undisclosed location" to promote his new movie. Suddenly, there's an overwhelming netroots push for Gore to run for president in 2008, including on DKos, when one has a few minutes to take a break from writing about troll ratings. The enthusiasm for such a run has even made its way to the mainstream press, where much speculation has gone into whether it's going to happen.

I can't help but wonder whether this focus on a potential Gore run in 2008 is distracting us from keeping the pressure on for the mid-term elections. Some may point out that, because the numbers are so much in our favor, we can afford to take a break and speculate about 2008. I might remind those who would suggest this that the numbers were in our favor in 2000, as well as on election night 2004, according to exit polls. Both times, it got away from us (conspiracy theories aside), and we were paying close attention then.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I support Al Gore and would enthusiastically support a run in 2008. But right here, right now, I'm going to be paying attention to what's going to happen in a few short months, not what may or may not happen two years from now.

I would implore the rest of you to consider doing the same. We've got to keep on eye on this, lest it gets pulled out from under us again.

All the best,

Derek

(DCF)

The "Duh" Factor

2006-06-02T09:10:00.000-04:00

I've noticed lately that there's been a definite increase in the "Duh" Factor around Wahington, D.C.

The term "Duh" can be used a few different ways, as I'm sure you all know. For the purposes of this article, there are two kinds of "Duh" I'll be referring to. There's the plain old "Duh", which shows that something someone has done is incredibly stupid. It can also be used sarcastically to show that one realizes the obviousness of the situation, even as someone else is explaining it in great detail, just as I am doing now, so feel free to go ahead and mutter "well, duh" before I move on to the important bits. Feel better? Good. Let's get started.

*****

Our first "Duh!" goes to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. It turns out that Frist has broken the law, according to an Federal Exchange Commission (FEC) investigation. Raw Story is reporting that a group called Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) had filed a complaint with the FEC, questioning Frist's handling of campaign contributions. Here's a better explanation from the article:

In June 2000, Senator Frist too $1 million of the money that hadbeen contributed to his 2000 Senate campaign and invested it in the stock market, where it promptly began losing money. In November 2000, Senator Frist sought to collect $1.2 million he had lent his 1994 Senate campaign committee. As a result of the stock market losses, however, Frist 2000, Inc. did not have enough money to repay the loan. Senator Frist solved this problem by having the 1994 and 2000 campaign committees jointly take out a $1.44 million bank loan at a cost of $10,000 a month interest. Frist 2000, Inc. did not report this debt on its FEC disclosure forms.

The Federal Election Campaign Act (FECA) requires full disclosure of any loans taken out by campaign committees. Yet only the 1994 campaign committee, which had been largely dormant, disclosed the loan.

What does all of this mean? It means that Frist, another member of the party that claims moral values, is a criminal but is not being prosecuted for it. (Yet.) Big surprise there.

A friendly "Well, Duh!" to Rolling Stone and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. for their detailed, but somewhat slow-on-the-draw article entitled Was the 2004 Election Stolen? Those of us who were actually paying attention back in 2004 have known this was the case since, oh, about 8 PM on Election Night, when the exit polls were showing a huge win for Kerry in Ohio, but more and more precincts were reporting back that Bush had taken them by a smaller, but still ridiculous, margin, thus making the various networks backpedal furiously, stating that the exit polls were flawed.

The thing is, the company that was doing the exit polling had designed the system to be the most accurate yet!

For its nationwide poll, Edison/Mitofsky selected a random subsample of 12,219 voters -- approximately six times larger than those normally used in national polls -- driving the margin of error down to approximately plus or minus one percent.

On the evening of the vote, reporters at each of the major networks were briefed by pollsters at 7:54 p.m. Kerry, they were informed, had an insurmountable lead and would win by a rout: at least 309 electoral votes to Bush's 174, with fifty-five too close to call.

What makes it even weirder is that Edison/Mitkofsky went out of its way to offer an "out" to those who ripped-off the American people!

In its official postmortem report issued two months after the election, Edison/Mitofsky was unable to identify any flaw in its methodology -- so the pollsters, in essence, invented one for the electorate. According to Mitofsky, Bush partisans were simply disinclined to talk to exit pollsters on November 2nd -- displaying a heretofore unknown and undocumented aversion that skewed the polls in Kerry's favor by a margin of 6.5 percent nationwide.

However, this was not the case...

Industry peers didn't buy it. John Zogby, one of the nation's leading pollsters, told me that Mitofsky's ''reluctant responder'' hypothesis is ''preposterous.''(36) Even Mitofsky, in his official report, underscored the hollowness of his theory: ''It is difficult to pinpoint precisely the reasons that, in general, Kerry voters were more likely to participate in the exit polls than Bush voters.''(37)

Now, thanks to careful examination of Mitofsky's own data by [Stephen R.] Freeman and a team of eight researchers, we can say conclusively that the theory is dead wrong. In fact it was Democrats, not Republicans, who were more disinclined to answer pollsters' questions on Election Day. In Bush strongholds, Freeman and the other researchers found that fifty-six percent of voters completed the exit survey -- compared to only fifty-three percent in Kerry strongholds. ''The data presented to support the claim not only fails to substantiate it,'' observes Freeman, ''but actually contradicts it.''

It's a good article, if a bit behind the rest of us. Raw Story and Brad Blog have been on this since the very beginning, as has Black Box Voting. Go read the rest of it, and then do some research on your own. See what you come up with.

"Duh!" to Michael Chertoff. You remember him, don't you? The guy who was the boss of FEMA during Katrina? He was the one who sent "Brownie" down there to do the "heckuvva job" that Dubya insisted he did. He's an older guy who looks a bit like the Crypt Keeper.

Anyway, Katrina debacle aside, Chertoff has shown to be even dumber than expected, with the Department of Homeland Security having just issued a report to justify cutting spending on national security in New York and Washington, D.C., the two cities that were attacked on September 11th, 2001.

What was Chertoff's reason for cutting that money in New York? Well, because they don't have any national landmarks. (PDF document)

Naturally, the esteemed Senator from the Great State of New York has something to say about that, doesn't she? You betcha! And so does her House counterpart!

Whoops.

You can see some of the other postcards they sent here.

Another cheerful "Well, Duh!" goes out to Helen Thomas, who is about to release a book entitled Watchdogs of Democracy? : The Waning Washington Press Corps and How It Has Failed the Public.

In the exclusive excerpt posted on Raw Story, Thomas refers to the Dubya's current and former press secretaries as untruthful, Orwellian robots who blindly toe the company line. Again, no big surprise. However, it sounds like a good read, and I intend to pick it up. It can be pre-ordered on Amazon right now.

"Duh" to Ann "The Man" Coulter. She's about to be booted off the voter rolls in Palm Beach County, Florida, where she willfully and intentionally committed a third-degree felony by lying on her voter registration. Along with being removed from voter rolls, she also faces fines of up to $5,000 (pocket change for a media whore who writes hateful books) and up to five years in prison, if convicted.

According to Brad Blog, what's the upside of all of this? Well, everything, really. But the best part is that it finally got the manly skank to shut her pie hole - something nothing else has managed to do.

Even more entertaining, if it turns out that she really does not live in Palm Beach County, which appears to be the case, she could also face charges for taking a $25,000 homstead exemption on her taxes. In order for this to be the case, it has to be proven that her residence in Palm Beach is not her permanent residence.

The hits just keep on coming!

And now, finally, a few giggles that I've found online. Enjoy:

It appears that kubla000 at Daily Kos has found Dick Cheney's super-secret "Undisclosed Location". Jeez...what a pigsty. (Apologies to any pigs who may be offended by this comparison.)

Also on Daily Kos, filmgeek83 has put together a nice little list of things that are necessary to believe, should you decide you want to be a Republican. My favorite is this one:

There's nothing wrong with supporting drunken hunters who shoot their friends and blaming the friends for looking too much like quail.

Speaking of what it takes, have a look at this. It offers a disturbing insight into the actual physiology of being a Republican.

Next, we have a three-month old article from Slate.com, showing the New, Improved, Bush-Approved Bill of Rights.

Ever wonder why you don't hear about most of this stuff in the "left-leaning mainstream media"? This animated cartoon from Robert Smeigel's TV Funhouse (which is regularly shown on Saturday Night Live) might explain it. Let's all get down with the "Conspiracy Theory Rock!"

Democratic Underground has an exclusive story about "Government Appreciation Day" in Washington, D.C., including a description of some of the floats from the parade!

The Big Pharma float won top honors, and for good reason. The float consisted of a giant maze of flowering shrubbery, through which hapless seniors tried to navigate their way. The Conservative American Horticulture Society (a subsidiary of Halliburton) designed the piece, and the multi-million dollar cost to taxpayers was well worth it.

Trailing behind the float was a band of silver-haired citizens, who shook their prescription pill bottles (filled with pebbles, since they can no longer afford the actual medication). It sounded like maracas, and gave the whole thing a Latin flair!

The second prizewinner was the Katrina/NOLA portion of the parade, dozens of empty FEMA trailers being pulled by former New Orleans residents. (I’m told they were paid $10 each for their participation, and Babs Bush was gushing in her “They’re much better off now” praise of the participants’ efforts.)

Good stuff.

And finally, because I firmly believe that it's fun to kick a man while he's dumb, we have the latest and greatest in action figures...

It's... DIHONEST DUBYA, LYING ACTION FIGURE! (Kung-fu grip only available on the "Executive Priveledge" model.)

Oh... One more thing. This picture of Dubya, once again standing on the shoulders of his base:

"My fellow Americans... Hey... Where'd everybody go? Hello?"

And that wraps it up for today. Tune in next time, when we investigate Tom DeLay's plastic head and find a delicious, cream-filled center!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Playing Devil's Advocate...I Think...

2006-05-26T23:55:00.000-04:00

All righty. For the most part, this post is directed to Mike D. Long, a good friend from a message board I frequent, because of the incredibly bizzare situation that has arisen due to claims that House Representative William Jefferson, a Louisiana Democrat, has taken bribes. (Information about it can be found here.) The investigation into Jefferson is part of what is being referred to as a "bi-partisan" investigation into congressional corruption - Ohio Republican congressman Bob Ney is also being investigated because of possible ties to Jack Abramoff.

Anyway, one of the things that happened after he was accused (and two people acknowledged their guilt in bribing him, and he was also videotaped by FBI agents, accepting $100,000 in cash) was that his home and House of Representatives office were searched. Remember this bit. I'll have more on it later.

At Jefferson's home, FBI agents found, among other things, I believe $90,000 in his freezer, wrapped in $10,000 bundles.

Let me repeat that so it sinks in: Representative William Jefferson from Louisiana, who has claimed no wrongdoing whatsoever since his name first popped up for investigation, had stashed a huge sum of money in his kitchen freezer, wrapped in aluminum foil.

My response to this is, "Huh?" If he's got nothing to hide, why not put the money in, oh, I don't know, a bank?

No information has been given as to whether anything incriminating was found in his office at the House of Representatives.

Now, if I may sidestep for a moment to direct you to this thread, you will see that, among the many issues discussed, one point that Mike made was how Republicans were getting more attention for bad stuff than Democrats were. In all honesty, I do agree with him on that point, but as I pointed out in the thread, since the Republicans are the ones in power, most of the attention is going to be directed at them. If it were the Democrats in power, the same thing would be happening. (For a reference point, feel free to go look up some old articles about Bill Clinton's Oval Office daliances. Or just read the headlining article in the New York Times that said Hillary Clinton's marriage to Bill Clinton could "hinder" her run for president - never mind the fact that she's not exactly a Dem favorite anymore.)

I'm getting away from my point, which was, when I saw the initial article (and resulting news coverage), I was going to send Mike a link and say, "Ha! See? It's not just the Republicans who are getting attention!"

But then, something weird happened.

For those just too bored or who can't be bothered to click the link, here's a brief rundown of what it's about, with a few paragraphs borrowed from the Associated Press article:

WASHINGTON - The FBI’s weekend search of the House office of a Louisiana Democrat under investigation for bribery may have overstepped constitutional boundaries, House leaders said as the congressman under investigation pledged to stay in office.

House Majority Leader John Boehner of Ohio told reporters Tuesday that the Congress will somehow speak to “this issue of the Justice Department’s invasion of the legislative branch. In what form, I don’t know.”

“I’ve got to believe at the end of the day it’s going to end up across the street at the Supreme Court,” Boehner said.

House Speaker Dennis Hastert said the Justice Department had never before crossed a line that separates Congress from the executive branch by searching a congressional office while investigating a member of Congress.

So, what does this mean? It means that William Jefferson's possible (and, judging from the evidence that is being reported in the so-called liberally-biased mainstream media, probable) bribe-taking is being pushed aside so members of Congress can make a fuss about the FBI searching a fellow congressman's office!

This revelation seems to support Mike's theory. Jefferson, a Democrat, is being ignored while a big stink is being made over the FBI's actions. However, if you take a look at the names listed above, you may notice something a bit odd about it. Go ahead and take a minute to do a search, if you feel you need to. I'll wait.

Find it? For those of you who did, stop laughing. For those who didn't, let me clue you in: John Boehner and Dennis Hastert are... Republicans!

So, while the story itself seems to support Mike's theory, the ones who are behind it are exactly the wrong people to be doing it! The smart money, for those guys, would be to bring this thing out and ride it like a pony - "Look! See? The Democrats are just as lousy! It's not just us!" (I imagine it would be worded differently, but what do I know?) It might not cause their ever-dwindling base to suddenly turn around and say, "Oh, well nevermind, then," but it could very possibly take a little bit of heat off of them. (Or, at the very least, put a little under the Democrats' feet.)

Now, a few things about all this have me wondering...

1. Why are all of these congresspersons so concerned? (And it's not just Republicans, mind you; there are a bunch of Democrats making a fuss... I just used the two examples above to point out what I was getting at.) Do they have something to hide? Do any of them, Dem and Repub alike, have a little price chart in their desks, like Randy "Duke" Cunningham did? I understand the "We're all supposed to be on the same side" thing, so I imagine they wouldn't expect this sort of thing to happen to one of their own, but they all seem a bit twitchy about it.

2. Why doesn't Jefferson show a bit of honor and step aside until this matter is cleared up, one way or the other? Sure, he says he doesn't think he did anything wrong, but wouldn't it be wise to step down, or at least ask to be removed from the committees he's a part of, until this is taken care of? There are a lot of Democrats who would like to see him just leave, obviously, because it could tarnish their stance as "the good guys who want to clean up corruption in Congress." As if there are no other Dems who might, you know, be skimming a few bucks on the side. Case in point, Hillary Clinton. (Hey, I already said I don't like her.) She is the Democrat who has received the most money from lobbyists. For the record, Rick Santorum of PA is the #1 Republican.

As I said in the last political thread on that message board, if someone did something illegal, they need to be frog-marched out the door. Plain and simple. Political party means exactly zip to me when you are screwing over good, honest people in order to line your pockets. If Jefferson was taking bribes - and, as I pointed out, it looks pretty damn convincing that he did - then he needs to go. I just wanted to make that clear so nobody thinks I'm trying to whitewash anything.

Anyway, the bottom line is, I wanted to give Mikey a "Tip of the Hat" (thanks, Stephen Colbert!) for causing me to find all of this so funny.

Thanks, Mike!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Time for a light giggle...

2006-05-15T00:24:00.000-04:00

In celebration of former Vice President (and legitimately elected President in 2000) Al Gore's appearance on Saturday Night Live this past weekend, I thought it might be entertaining to post the Top Ten list he presented on Late Night with David Letterman in 2000. Enjoy.

TOP TEN REJECTED GORE-LIEBERMAN CAMPAIGN SLOGANS
(as read by Al Gore on David Letterman)

10. Vote for me or I'll come to your home and explain my 191-page economic plan to you in excruciating detail.

9. Remember, America, I gave you the Internet, and I can take it away!

8. Your vote automatically enters you in drawing for the $123 billion dollar surplus.

7. With Lieberman on the ticket, you get all kinds of fun new days off.

6. We know when the microphone is on.

5. Vote for me and I will take whatever steps necessary to outlaw the term, "Whazzzup?"

4. Gore-Lieberman -- you don't have to worry about pork barrel politics.

3. You'll thank us in four years when the escalator to the moon is finished.

2. If I can handle Letterman, I can handle Saddam Hussein.

And the number one rejected Gore-Lieberman campaign slogan...

1. I'll be twice as cool as that president guy on The West Wing.

Now, putting aside all the 2000 Election complaints and accusations, as well as the fact that Joe Lieberman has now shown himself to be just another Republican in Democrats' clothing (sorta like Zell Miller at the 2004 Republican National Convention, but a little less jittery... Woo! What an...interesting speech that was!), I would like to say that Al Gore is a friendly, outgoing, and downright funny guy. How do I know this? I met him back in October of 1996, when came through my hometown of Port Huron and gave a speech in Pine Grove Park. He spoke for about an hour, discussing his and then-president Bill Clinton's plans if they won the presidential election again (for those of you who were dozing, they did win), as well as saying a few kind words about a few Michigan Democrats, such as David Bonior. He also promised that he would not attempt to do the Macarena. (This was shortly after he'd done it at a campaign stop, and it was played almost constantly on the news as proof of what a nutball he was.) The crowd was a bit disappointed about that.

After his speech, his Secret Service crew were trying to move him along to the car that would take him to the Thomas Edison Inn for a luncheon with city leaders and, I assume, nice people with thick checkbooks. However, the Secret Service guys had to keep stopping and retrieving him because he kept stopping and chatting with people standing near the little fence the city had erected, I assume, so he wouldn't be mobbed by well-wishers and angry Republicans. Now, when I say "chatting," I mean he would stop, start talking to them about whatever they wanted to ask him about, and would actually lean against the fence, as if he weren't the Vice President of the United States, but instead just a neighbor who took a minute out from mowing the lawn to discuss crab grass with his neighbor.

As the speech ended, I had managed to find the only empty spot along the fence, and waited patiently for the vice president to make his way over to me. When he finally did, he smiled and shook my hand. I told him that I'd voted for him and President Clinton in 1992, and I was planning to do it again. (I know, I know... How original.)

I also said that I hoped he'd consider running for president in 2000. (There had already been a bunch of people in the crowd chanting "Gore 2000! Fore 2000!" during his speech.)

"Well, it's a little early to worry about that, don't you think?"

I said, "It never hurts to plan ahead."

"Well, who knows? We'll have to wait and see," he said, offering me his hand again as his Secret Service guy started pulling him away.

That's it. No amazing story or anything. I just thought he was a really nice guy.

One of the things that Al Gore has always been steady on is his stance on global warming. In fact, he has a documentary called An Inconvenient Truth, concerning global warming, and it will be in limited release on May 24th that covers the power point pesentation he's been giving since he "lost" the 2000 election. If you can find a place that's showing it, go see it.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

White House Shoots Its Wad Too Early?

2006-05-13T16:00:00.000-04:00

This article cross-posted at Daily Kos.

*****

While cruising around online Friday, looking for more information about the latest NSA scandal and the companies involved, I ran across a video clip of Tweety Matthews saying that he believed an indictment of Karl Rove would be forthcoming that day. (Sorry, can't find the link for the clip, but I believe it was somewhere on Crooks and Liars.) For those of you who were paying attention, it became obvious over the course of the day that this would not be the case.

Of course, we all now know that even Rove himself expects an indictment soon, and even went so far as to tell his boss about it, adding that he would resign his position immediately after the charges are publicly announced.

These two events seem unrelated, but it got me wondering...

In the past, whenever someone from BushCo's senior board of directors was about to be fingered for some immoral and/or illegal act, the standard White House strategy was, of course, to claim that Osama bin Laden was again peeking out of his hidey hole to leave cryptic messages about "death and destruction to the infidels." (That would appear to be us, from what I gather.

Some noted that these sudden messages were rather conveniently spaced to coincide with other events that might have otherwise gone bad for the the Republicans and, specifically, the White House - elections, indictments, revelations that there were no WMDs, badly chosen appointments...you know the drill. But few others took notice.

Initially, it was videotapes. After a while, it turned into audiotapes. Then they wouldn't let independent professionals analyze the tapes, choosing instead to have their own "professions" give them a look (or a listen) to determine whether or not they were authentic. Amazingly, they always turned out to be, according to those in-house professionals.

By that point, most people were saying, "Er... Hold on a second..." while looking at the timeline of events and their correlation to the release of these messages. People were getting suspicious, and it appears that someone at the White House may have noticed, choosing to dump the "bin Laden's gonna getcha" method for something a bit more radical.

(Author's note: Please note that, from this point on, this article is speculation on my part, quite possibly initiated by the intake of entirely too much caffeine. So feel free to take it with a grain of salt. Thank you. - DCF)

A lot of new, non-bin Laden-related revelations that have been popping up in the news lately seem to have been coinciding with other, less Bush-friendly ones. Let me give you an example of what I mean, if I may.

It was announced earlier in the week that Patrick Fitzgerald was going to meet with the grand jury to discuss Karl Rove's testimony Friday. Many were laying bets that Rove was going to be indicted under charges of perjury and lying to a grand jury, and the announcement was going to come Friday afternoon.

The previous day, USA Today published its article about the NSA collecting phone call information on "tens of millions of Americans" to create the world's largest database.

Had an announcement about charges against Rove come out Friday, it very likely would have received minimal coverage from the mainstream press, barely making it onto the front page, below all the ongoing stories about who the NSA is watching and why. Possibly, there might be an editorial or two, but not much else.

Keeping this in mind, I ask you to consider this: Is it possible that, assuming the White House thought they knew charges would be announced Friday, the "leak" of the NSA's newest "dirty little secret" was a pre-emptive strike against intense coverage of a Rove indictment announcement, an attempt to draw attention away from yet another White House monkey-boy getting busted for trying to cover up BushCo's shady dealings?

If this is the case, is it also possible that, once the White House allowed this leak, Fitzgerald realized the same thing and has decided to hold off a few more days, giving this newest scandal a little more time to settle in before dropping yet another bomb, thereby allowing it the coverage it deserves?

Or, more importantly, am I just talking out my ass about wildly ridiculous speculation based on little more than a lack of sleep and an excessive amount of sugar intake?!?

You make the call.

DCF

Catching up, yet again...

2006-05-12T21:40:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I've been a tiny bit lax in keeping up with this blog. I blame my brother.

You see, Vern recently contacted me and asked me to, in his words, "fix my shit," meaning his MySpace page. In order to get in there and figure out how to make it work the way he wanted it to, I had to join and read the FAQ. And, being the kind of guy who feels a deep urge to get in there and take part once I've signed up for something, I ended up building a MySpace page of my own. If you're interested in my writing but are sick of listening to me bitch about the current administration, feel free to go over there and read the blog I've started, as it is completely devoid of political rambling. Go ahead. I'll wait while you click the link.

Are they gone? Good.

It's been a busy week and a half since my post about Stephen Colbert's incredibly hilarious (and laden with truthiness) presentation at the White House Correspodents' Dinner. As I mentioned in that post, the mainstream media pretty much blew him off. The blogosphere, however, was all over it, to the point where it drew attention to C-Span removal of it from their own site and how they made sites like YouTube and Google Video remove the clips from their own sites.

For four days, it was the big subject on Daily Kos, where I'd be willing to guess that a solid third of the posts were in some way related to it, and other sites. Some of it is still going on. However, there was a lot of other fun stuff happening, so it was sort of moved to the back burner. But that doesn't mean we don't love ya anymore, Stephen! We're just trying to keep up with all the scandals!

Speaking of...

Hookergate...The New Watergate!

The head of the CIA, Porter Goss, abruptly quit (or was fired from, depending on who you ask) his job last Friday. Oddly enough, this was at the same time that he was starting to be scrutinized by the Justice Department concerning poker parties (with hookers!) at the Watergate Hotel. (I know, I know... Another Watergate scandal, and right on time, as Dubya's numbers get closer and closer to Nixon's at the time of the original scandal. More on this in a moment.)

Shortly after Goss left, Dubya announced that his replacement would be General Michael V. Hayden.

Let me say that one more time, but with a little more detail.

Bush announced his nomination for the new CIA head, a post in a civilian governemnt organization normally filled by a civilian, to be filled by a current General, a man who also answers to the Pentagon and Donald Rumsfeld.

The result? Lots of pissed-off lawmakers, Democrats and Republicans. The confirmation hearings should be a hoot, especially with new information that has come to light over the past couple of days. I'll get to that shortly.

*****

Dick Cheney: Narcoleptic?

This really doesn't need much of an explanation. This picture was posted on the front of The Huffington Post today:

Looks like someone's not getting enough sleep. It must be his conscience getting to him. Either that, or Mrs. Cheney snores really loud.

*****

The Snow Job Starts

Tony Snow gave his first press conference today, what is referred to as a "gaggling" - an unaired briefing for the press corps - and proclaimed it to be a complete failure. Not because of his ability to not answer questions (he was actually quite good at that, using his "new guy" status as a way to deflect questions that might be a bit difficult to answer with a straight face); he deemed the briefing a failure because he held it in his office, as opposed to the briefing room, and it was way too crowded. He also timed it badly, and scheduled it incorrectly, causing several reporters to miss the first ten minutes of the briefing.

It's okay, Tony. First time, they'll give you a Mulligan. But you better hunker down and start lying good and hard next time.

*****

George W. Bush Can Finally Stop Competing With His Father

Amid ever-decreasing poll numbers, the words "a new low" have become old hat to George W. Bush.

However, a new poll released today says that his approval rating has dropped to 29%, matching his father's lowest point during the Bush I presidency.

The only real challenge for him now (aside from regaining all the jobs lost during his presidency, repaying the deficit that he allowed the Republican-controlled Congress to run up with record spending, removing the corruption from Congress, finding Osama bin Laden, finally establishing democracy in Iraq, regaining the trust of the international community, rebuilding New Orleans, stopping global warming, and keeping Dick Cheney awake long enough to make it through a televised press conference) is to see how much lower than his father he can go. It might seem obvious to most of us that the lowest he could go is, theoretically, 0%, but as someone on Daily Kos pointed out, if the dead start rising and voting Democratic, he could actually end up in negative numbers. Now that would be impressive.

*****

Big Brother Is Listening! (Or at least keeping track of who you call.)

An article in USA Today on Thursday told of another program connected to the NSA's illegal wiretapping program. This newly discovered program consists of the NSA building "the world's largest database" to keep track of tens of millions of calls made on a daily basis. by average Americans "many of whom," the report states, "are not suspected of a crime."

"Many"? Like how many? Half? Two-thirds? Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say that only one-third of those whose calls are being tracked are not suspected of a crime. That means that the innocent one-third are having their rights violated by the NSA and, more importantly, their phone service providers. Those phone companies specifically named include AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth. The only company who has come forward and said that they denied the NSA's request was Qwest Comminucations.

Not only are those companies in violation of their own customer privacy policies, they may also be in violation of the law. Two class-action suits for $20 billion and $5 billion have been brought against Verizon as of today. I have no doubt that more will come.

Dubya, of course, insists that everything is on the up-and-up, and nobody's rights are being violated. We can trust him can't we?

Well, no. We can't. Here's why:

"Any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires - a wiretap requires a court order."
- George W. Bush, April 20, 2004, Buffalo, New York

Hey, what about when you admitted that you circumvented the FISA courts and didn't bother to get warrants?

"While the president approved this program to respond to the new threats against us, he also imposed several important safeguards to protect the privacy and the civil liberties of all Americans."

- Alberto Gonzales, during his confirmation hearings to become Attorney General

Okay. That's all right, then.

Since the disclosure last week of the NSA's domestic surveillance program, President Bush and his senior aides have stressed that his executive order allowing eavesdropping without warrants was limited to the monitoring of international phone and e-mail communications involving people with known links to Al Qaeda.

- An article on Truthout.org, quoting the New York Times' article about the original NSA program

Oh, so it's just the international calls that they're monitoring. We Americans that aren't doing anything illegal are safe, right?

Right?

The National Security Agency has been secretly collecting the phone call records of tens of millions of Americans, using data provided by AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth, people with direct knowledge of the arrangement told USA TODAY.

The NSA program reaches into homes and businesses across the nation by amassing information about the calls of ordinary Americans — most of whom aren't suspected of any crime. This program does not involve the NSA listening to or recording conversations. But the spy agency is using the data to analyze calling patterns in an effort to detect terrorist activity, sources said in separate interviews.
"It's the largest database ever assembled in the world," said one person, who, like the others who agreed to talk about the NSA's activities, declined to be identified by name or affiliation. The agency's goal is "to create a database of every call ever made" within the nation's borders, this person added.

For the customers of these companies, it means that the government has detailed records of calls they made — across town or across the country — to family members, co-workers, business contacts and others.
- From the USA Today article on Thursday

See what crotchety old CNN reporter Jack Cafferty has to say about it.

What next? Funny you should ask...

*****

"It's just the tip of the iceberg."

Let's get right to the quote, shall we? From CongressDaily (subscription required) via ThinkProgress.org (for free!):

A former intelligence officer for the National Security Agency said Thursday he plans to tell Senate staffers next week that unlawful activity occurred at the agency under the supervision of Gen. Michael Hayden beyond what has been publicly reported, while hinting that it might have involved the illegal use of space-based satellites and systems to spy on U.S. citizens. …

[Tice] said he plans to tell the committee staffers the NSA conducted illegal and unconstitutional surveillance of U.S. citizens while he was there with the knowledge of Hayden. … “I think the people I talk to next week are going to be shocked when I tell them what I have to tell them. It’s pretty hard to believe,” Tice said. “I hope that they’ll clean up the abuses and have some oversight into these programs, which doesn’t exist right now.” …

Tice said his information is different from the Terrorist Surveillance Program that Bush acknowledged in December and from news accounts this week that the NSA has been secretly collecting phone call records of millions of Americans. “It’s an angle that you haven’t heard about yet,” he said. … He would not discuss with a reporter the details of his allegations, saying doing so would compromise classified information and put him at risk of going to jail. He said he “will not confirm or deny” if his allegations involve the illegal use of space systems and satellites.
(Emphasis is in the original article.)

What? There's more? I can't wait until next week!

*****

Cinco de Fitzo - Coming Soon?

The word is that an indictment against Karl Rove will be handed down soon. Some expected it to be today. I'm willing to wait a few more days. Maybe Fitz needs to get rested up over the weekend for his big press conference next week.

The word is also that Rove has already informed the president that an indictment is forthcoming, and he will be resigning from his job in the White House as soon as the charges are announced.

Karl? Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Spoken like a true Bush appointee.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

The Story Everyone (Except The Press) Is Talking About

2006-05-01T22:50:00.000-04:00

Why isn't the so-called "liberal media" picking up on Stephen Colbert's appearance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner?

Sure, the president's appearance with his doppelganger was funny - although a bit disturbing; it was a bit like having a look inside Dubya's head and hearing exactly what he thinks (I know that was the idea, but I can't shake the belief that what was being passed off as humor and self-deprecation was actually a blinding glimpse into reality) - but Colbert was on fire! And was completely ignored in the media. Perhaps it was because of this comment:

As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side.

Or maybe it was this:

But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!

Of course, this wasn't about the media, even if it is called the White House Correspondents' Dinner. No, it was about the president, and one of the few chances some people will get to take cheap shots at him without him being able to throw them in a secret CIA gulag in Europe. As I said, Dubya's bit was pretty funny (if mildly disturbing). But he was clearly outshone by Colbert, who, in his guise as the Stephen Colbert who hosts The Colbert Report - a staunch conservative Republican with only the slightest grasp on reality, pulled no punches against anyone in attendance, in the name of snark and satire:

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe it's yogurt. But I refuse to believe it's not butter. Most of all, I believe in this president.

Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

So, Mr. President, please, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass -- it's important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. Okay, look, folks, my point is that I don't believe this is a low point in this presidency. I believe it is just a lull before a comeback.

I mean, it's like the movie "Rocky." All right. The president in this case is Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed is -- everything else in the world. It's the tenth round. He's bloodied. His corner man, Mick, who in this case I guess would be the vice president, he's yelling, "Cut me, Dick, cut me!," and every time he falls everyone says, "Stay down! Stay down!" Does he stay down? No. Like Rocky, he gets back up, and in the end he -- actually, he loses in the first movie.

OK. Doesn't matter. The point is it is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face. So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't.

You know... A post like this just about writes itself. With that in mind, let me direct you to a few more quotes before I finish it with a couple of links...

I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

And...

And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half. And polls show America agrees. She's a true lady and a wonderful woman. But I just have one beef, ma'am.

I'm sorry, but this reading initiative. I'm sorry, I've never been a fan of books. I don't trust them. They're all fact, no heart. I mean, they're elitist, telling us what is or isn't true, or what did or didn't happen. Who's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American! I'm with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen.

And, finally, some more of his jabs at the press...

But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good -- over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.

If you found these quotes amusing, you can read the entire transcript of Colbert's speech here. Better yet, if you've got BitTorrent, you can download the whole presentation (including Dubya's bit) here in high res!

Give it a look, won't we?

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

"750" or "Do As I Say, Not As I Do"

2006-04-30T12:28:00.000-04:00

750. Seven-five-zero. Seven hundred and fifty. That is, according to an article in the Boston Globe (free registration required to read the whole thing, but you can get the gist of it in the first three pages), the number of laws that George W. Bush has said he is allowed to ignore during his time as president. This doesn't even include what his campaign monkeys and political party are alleged to have done during the past two presidential elections.

And yet, the Criminal-in-Chief still sits in office, and many of his detractors still scurry away in terror whenever the word "impeachment" is brought up.

How does this repeat offender weasel his way around the law without any punishment? I'm glad you asked.

It is well known that Bush has not once vetoed a bill that has come across his desk. Although he has threatened on numerous occasions to do so, he has always capitulated and signed, often inviting the author(s) of the bill to the signing ceremony. Much has been made by the mainstream media about how Bush is willing to reach out to those he might not see eye-to-eye with.

But what the mainstream media hasn't been so big on covering is what happens after the signing ceremony, and this is where we should be paying the most attention.

Many of the times that Bush has signed these bills into law, he has also filed what is called a "signing statement." A signing statement is basically an acknowledgement that, while this law is good and important to "th' 'Mer'can people," it holds no bearing on what he, the president, will do himself.

Let me say that one more time, just to make sure you're getting the idea.

George W. Bush, the guy who, whether legitimately or not, was sworn in as President of the United States twice, and swore to "uphold the laws of the Constitution to the best of my ability," is saying that these laws, which we regular citizens have to follow, do not apply to him.

This initially came to light, according to the Globe article, when Bush signed the bill that included John McCain's anti-torture ammendment. Immediately after signing the bill, Bush filed a signing statement that said, in effect, that it didn't really apply to him, and he could still torture captives.

The man is a monster.

But it doesn't stop there. He also filed a signing statement when Congress passed a bill requiring him to report regularly in order to make sure that the Patriot Act wasn't being used illegally. Again, the statement said, in effect, "I don't have to tell you nothin'! You're not the boss of me!"

More from the Globe:

Among the laws Bush said he can ignore are military rules and regulations, affirmative-action provisions, requirements that Congress be told about immigration services problems, ''whistle-blower" protections for nuclear regulatory officials, and safeguards against political interference in federally funded research.

Legal scholars say the scope and aggression of Bush's assertions that he can bypass laws represent a concerted effort to expand his power at the expense of Congress, upsetting the balance between the branches of government. The Constitution is clear in assigning to Congress the power to write the laws and to the president a duty ''to take care that the laws be faithfully executed." Bush, however, has repeatedly declared that he does not need to ''execute" a law he believes is unconstitutional.

His excuse, however, is "everyone is doin' it!"

Bush administration spokesmen declined to make White House or Justice Department attorneys available to discuss any of Bush's challenges to the laws he has signed.
Instead, they referred a Globe reporter to their response to questions about Bush's position that he could ignore provisions of the Patriot Act. They said at the time that Bush was following a practice that has ''been used for several administrations" and that ''the president will faithfully execute the law in a manner that is consistent with the Constitution."

But the words ''in a manner that is consistent with the Constitution" are the catch, legal scholars say, because Bush is according himself the ultimate interpretation of the Constitution. And he is quietly exercising that authority to a degree that is unprecedented in US history.

Still working on that "King George" thing...

In his signing statements, Bush has repeatedly asserted that the Constitution gives him the right to ignore numerous sections of the bills -- sometimes including provisions that were the subject of negotiations with Congress in order to get lawmakers to pass the bill. He has appended such statements to more than one of every 10 bills he has signed.

''He agrees to a compromise with members of Congress, and all of them are there for a public bill-signing ceremony, but then he takes back those compromises -- and more often than not, without the Congress or the press or the public knowing what has happened," said Christopher Kelley, a Miami University of Ohio political science professor who studies executive power.

More secrets. More lies. And yet he still manages to garner 33% support. Are these people brain dead?

And guess what? You're not safe, either:

Congress has also twice passed laws forbidding the military from using intelligence that was not ''lawfully collected," including any information on Americans that was gathered in violation of the Fourth Amendment's protections against unreasonable searches.

Congress first passed this provision in August 2004, when Bush's warrantless domestic spying program was still a secret, and passed it again after the program's existence was disclosed in December 2005.

On both occasions, Bush declared in signing statements that only he, as commander in chief, could decide whether such intelligence can be used by the military.

Still not nervous? How about this:

Many laws Bush has asserted he can bypass involve requirements to give information about government activity to congressional oversight committees.
In December 2004, Congress passed an intelligence bill requiring the Justice Department to tell them how often, and in what situations, the FBI was using special national security wiretaps on US soil. The law also required the Justice Department to give oversight committees copies of administration memos outlining any new interpretations of domestic-spying laws. And it contained 11 other requirements for reports about such issues as civil liberties, security clearances, border security, and counternarcotics efforts.

You know where this is going, right?

After signing the bill, Bush issued a signing statement saying he could withhold all the information sought by Congress.

And even government employees aren't safe, should they decide to report their bosses for unethical or illegal activities:

On several other occasions, Bush contended he could nullify laws creating ''whistle-blower" job protections for federal employees that would stop any attempt to fire them as punishment for telling a member of Congress about possible government wrongdoing.

When Congress passed a massive energy package in August, for example, it strengthened whistle-blower protections for employees at the Department of Energy and the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
The provision was included because lawmakers feared that Bush appointees were intimidating nuclear specialists so they would not testify about safety issues related to a planned nuclear-waste repository at Yucca Mountain in Nevada -- a facility the administration supported, but both Republicans and Democrats from Nevada opposed.

When Bush signed the energy bill, he issued a signing statement declaring that the executive branch could ignore the whistle-blower protections.

Bush's statement did more than send a threatening message to federal energy specialists inclined to raise concerns with Congress; it also raised the possibility that Bush would not feel bound to obey similar whistle-blower laws that were on the books before he became president. His domestic spying program, for example, violated a surveillance law enacted 23 years before he took office.

Remember the halcyon days of "I'm a uniter, not a divider"? We've since heard it changed to "I'm the decider," and apparently that doesn't just cover who gets to stay and who gets to go in the administration.

But there are more and more people breathing down Dubya's neck, watching and waiting for the day of reckoning. Many are looking forward to the next presidential election. Others, saying it's entirely too early for that, are pinning their hopes on the 2006 midterm elections. If the Democratic party takes control of the House (and maybe even the Senate), which is looking more and more like with the revelation of three new scandals (on average) per day, Bush will be called to the carpet for the half-asseds way he has done his job. As it is, he is already being sued by a group of 11 House Democrats for signing a spending bill that did not pass both houses of Congress.

It's looking like the "I" word isn't that hard to fit your mouth around these days.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Blurring The Lines Even Further

2006-04-26T00:07:00.000-04:00

Fox "News" has posted a story on their website stating that Fox "News" anchor Tony Snow will be taking over the spot recently vacated by White House press secretary Scott McClellan. The announcement is expected to be made Wednesday morning, and comes as a surprise to nobody. It was even predicted by Jon Stewart of The Daily Show, who said that it was "a change in job title, but not in job description."

It may have initially come as a shock to Snow, whose comments (provided by Think Progress) about Dubya in the past have not always been the standard company line. F'rinstance:

Bush has “lost control of the federal budget and cannot resist the temptation to stop raiding the public fisc.” [3/17/06]

“George Bush has become something of an embarrassment.” [11/11/05]

“When it comes to federal spending, George W. Bush is the boy who can’t say no. In each of his three years at the helm, the president has warned Congress to restrain its spending appetites, but so far nobody has pushed away from the table mainly because the president doesn’t seem to mean what he says.” [The Detroit News, 12/28/03]

“George W. Bush, meanwhile, talks of a pillowy America, full of niceness and goodwill. Bush has inherited his mother’s attractive feistiness, but he also got his father’s syntax. At one point last week, he stunned a friendly audience by barking out absurd and inappropriate words, like a soul tortured with Tourette’s.” [8/25/00]

And my personal favorite:

“He recently tried to dazzle reporters by discussing the vagaries of Congressional Budget Office economic forecasts, but his recitation of numbers proved so bewildering that not even his aides could produce a comprehensible translation. The English Language has become a minefield for the man, whose malaprops make him the political heir not of Ronald Reagan, but Norm Crosby.” [8/25/00]

(More quotes available at the link.)

This should be fun.

Personally, I don't know much about Snow; I can't watch Fox for more than two or three minutes without feeling ill, so I avoid the channel. I know enough about them network itself to say that Jon Stewart was right; Fox "News" is a shill for the Bush Administration. Everyone on Fox is a shill for the administration. They are loathe to bring in anyone who might represent a point of view that isn't the same as theirs.

When there's nothing positive to report about the administration, they resort to reporting about missing white girls. The Natalee Holloway story, which has been covered by the other news channels and programs rather sufficiently, has been beaten to death by Fox, mainly because there really hasn't been a lot of positive things coming out of the White House lately.

When there is a shortage of missing white girl stories, they move on to attack Democrats whenever possible. And their favorite target is still Bill Clinton. But he's not the only target. (Go check out the News Hounds for more. They're great folks, and they monitor Fox "News" constantly to point out the network's biases. Also see Robert Greenwald's excellent documentary, Outfoxed.)

And finally, when there's nothing else to report on, they talk about the ongoing "war" against Christianity. Anchor John Gibson put out a book last Christmas about the so-called "War on Christmas". Bill O'Reilly went on David Letterman and tried to further push the "War on Christmas" agenda, until Letterman shut him down by saying, "I'm not smart enough to debate you on all of this, but I have a feeling about 65% of what you say is crap." There were specials on the network about this supposed "war". I completely ignored them all. Apparently, these Christians who are so upset by people saying "happy holidays" are not aware of the bit in the Bible where Jesus preaches tolerance.

Then, in February, there was just a regular "War on Christianity". (Apparently, Groundhog Day is still safe from us heathens.) This month, there was a "War on Easter". I didn't really pay any attention to this after the whole "War on Christmas" thing, so you'll excuse me if I don't offer you any links. Again, check the News Hounds out. They've got tons of this stuff.

It never ceases to amaze me that these so-called Christians are quick to point out the bits in the Bible that supposedly support their views, but are quick to skip the bits that go against their hate-filled rhetoric. They give legitimate Christians - the ones who are trying to make the world a better place and help their fellow man - a bad rap.

But I'm getting away from the point, whatever it was. What was it again? Oh! Right. Tony Snow as the new press secretary.

Tony Snow is going to be the new press guy, and I'm just about wobbly with anticipation, because although he has carried the Fox "News" line (for the most part) throughout his time there - I know I said I didn't watch him, and it's true, but he wouldn't have lasted long if he didn't toe the company line - I'm also pretty sure he isn't going to appreciate the press corps climbing up his nose the way they did with McClellan. Fox "News" creates a neat little bubble for their personalities, and with the bubble missing, Snow will be eaten alive. I will be watching his first legitimate press briefing with some relish. Will they give him a break as the new guy? Will they start right at him? Will Helen Thomas challenge him to an arm wrestling competition right there? Oh! What exciting times these are!

Of course, the White House is calling it differently. Surprise, surprise.

*****

Some quick hits...

Too Little, Too Late

Dubya has ordered a probe into the high price of gas. Nobody cares because, quite frankly, with his administration in office, there's not going to be a straight answer anyway. (Why expect one now?) He also "temporarily" suspended environmental regulations to refineries to allow them produce more fuel for the country, and put a hold on the purchase of oil for the National Reserve until the end of summer, which will have a minimal impact on the price of gas, at best.

My Brother's Secret Life

For those of you who know me (that would, I assume, be all five of you who actually read this blog), you know about my brother Vern. For several years, he was doing the "good husband/married guy" thing, and had put down his guitar. His wife, Sherrie, Gawd love her, was patient when I would drag my gear to their house and Vern and I would jam - loudly - in the rec room. Now, it seems, she has been medicated thoroughly enough to support his urge to play in public again. More power to both of them.

Anyway, Vern has picked up a gig with a band called My Secret Life. (This is his second band - I think he was getting nervous that I'm in three now, and decided to get back into it before I joined every band in Michigan, leaving him nothing.) Go check out their MySpace page and listen to the tunes. Good stuff. It's on heavy rotation in my car's CD player. Heck, if you're in the area, go check them out! Maybe I'll see you at one of their gigs. (I plan on going to one as soon as my schedule opens up.)

My Damaged, Loaded Life (Rewind)

As I said above, I'm in three bands myself - Damaged Goods, Loaded and, most recently, Rewind. It's been pretty harried lately, trying to keep track of where I'm playing and with whom, but I think I'm getting the hang of it, so bear with me.

Anyhow, this year marks the third year in a row that I've held a Birthday Bash for myself (after much harrassment from friends and coworkers who complained because I didn't celebrate my birthday in any big way). The first year, Loaded had a great time at the Willow Tree Golf Course bar in Melvin. (Town motto: "The middle of nowhere? No, you passed that already.") For the second year, Loaded played at the Golden Dawn in Lexington. (Town motto: "We are a booming metrpolis compared to Melvin!") We almost burned the palce to the ground with some faulty lights. Good times!

This year, however, it's going to be a special event, lasting (unofficially) five weeks! It kicked off last weekend with Loaded at Willow Tree again. This coming weekend, I'll be partying with Rewind at the VFW in St. Clair Shores. The following weekend will be the "official" kickoff of my 3rd Annual Birthday Bash, and I'll be playing with Damaged Goods at Timmy D's in Capac on May 5th and 6th. Come on out!

If you miss the Timmy D's show, I have a show on the 13th with Rewind (more details on this later) and closing it down on the 20th with Loaded. (Again, more details later.) Come on out! Shots of Cabo tequila will be more than welcome!

Bobbie Dumps Here!

Those of you who come here may be familiar with my friend Bobbie's blog, ThatBobbieGirl's Brain Dump. (Especially you, Bobbie.) If you're not, check it out.

Anyhow, from time to time, I get e-mails from Bobbie with some really...interesting links. Here are a few that she recently sent me:

When I think candy, I think "Mmmmm... Ear wax..." Doesn't everyone? The best part is that it comes with its own edible "swab"!

For those of you who long for simpler days but are not willing to give up the tenuous grasp you have on technology, why not get a bit retro while still maintaining your computer savvy by baking a cake or two with the PC EZ Bake Oven? It fits right into your computer's 5-1/4" drive bay! Seriously! Check it out:
I have got to get me one of these.

And for those of you who enjoy squinty, oily performances by a mumbling buttsteak of a man, Steven Segal is offering up Lightning Bolt! I'm speechless. Really. But the website isn't:
"All of our drinks are sweetened with an imported sugarcane juice concentrate that is not only all natural, but contains naturally occurring policosanols - that can help maintain healthy cholesterol!"
Wow! policosanols! Gotta get me some of those!

And that about wraps it up.

Tune in next time, when we build a full-scale replica of the Parthenon using only Ritz crackers and squeeze cheese!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Scotty, We Hardly Knew Ye...

2006-04-19T13:48:00.000-04:00

"You! Pull my finger!"

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, who has served the president for the past seven and a half years (two of those years as press secretary), announced his resignation this morning. It was greeted by the press as a monumental move prompted by the new White House Chief of Staff, Josh Bolten. Bolten had a meeting with staff recently, inviting those who were considering resigning to do so.

It was greeted by those of us who aren't in the press with mild indifference.

Why? Because McClellan's job was inconsequential. All he did was get in front of reporters every morning and toe the White House line. No useful information was even shared, nor, for the most part, any honest information. If anyon in the White House press corps was looking for a direct answer to any question, they were given empty words, or references to previous empty words. Case in point:

"As I've previously stated, while that investigation is ongoing, the White House is not going to comment on it." McClellan on new PlameGate revelations, July 11, 2005. (Courtesy of Perrspectives)
"The last thing anyone should do is politicize this issue by rewriting history." McClellan on revelations regarding bogus uranium in Niger claims, July 17, 2003. (Courtesy of Perrspectives)
"This was a report based on a single anonymous source that could not substantiate the allegation that was made." McClellan describing the Newsweek Koran story, not the role of Curveball in Iraq pre-war intelligence, May 16, 2005. (Courtesy of Perrspectives)

The guy turned his job into an artform.

And now, we're left with an empty spot that will more than likely be filled by Fox shill Tony Snow. The only real difference in Snow's reporting will be a change of venue.

Also affected by Bolten's changes, Karl Rove has effectively been demoted from his position of formulating policy to being "involved in long-term strategic planning as a deputy chief of staff and a senior adviser," according to a CNN article.

Completely untouched (so far) by this shake-up is the one person whose resignation has been called for over the past week or two: Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. Nobody is sure why.

I wrote a humor piece about some of this last night at Daily Kos, if you're interested in a more humorous take on the whole thing.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Catching Up...Again.

2006-04-15T01:31:00.000-04:00

You know, I've really been dragging my feet lately on this blog, and I regularly feel guilty about it because it seems like every post lately has to do with catching up from the last time. However, I look at it this way: When I hear about this stuff - stuff like the things I'oll be writing about in this post - I like to let it sit in my brain for a little while so I can attempt to write something coherent, as opposed to blasting off on an unplanned rant that reads like a fever dream.

(I realize that some of you might feel like pointing out that most of my writing reads like a fever dream anyway, but I'll assume you mean that in a nice way and ask you to keep it to yourself.)

Anyway... Let's go to the replay.

*****

"Rummy, you're doin' a heckuvva job..."

In the wake of no less than seven retired military generals calling for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's resignation, President Bush today released a statement saying, in effect, that he fully stands behind Rummy and the job he's doing. Isn't that a nice little Easter egg for the guy?

It's a shame, though, because almost immediately afterward a new document came to light directly linking Rumsfeld to the torture of captives held at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.

Looks like the egg was rotten.

What really twists my nipples about this is that Rumsfeld has tried twice to resign from his job, but Dubya wouldn't accept it. Now he's got an opportunity for the exact thing he wanted, and he won't freakin' go away!

*****

"Special K" Street

Grover Norquist, according to The Hill, is trying to trademark the name "K Street Project" to keep Democrats and Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) from using it in a negative way. Here's a little background from that article:

Norquist said he founded the K Street Project in 1989 to bring ideological balance to lobbying firms. His group distributes weekly jobs bulletins by e-mail to 250 subscribers. This week’s bulletin is a 75-page dossier with positions at the Federal Election Commission, Merrill Lynch, the American Health Care Association, WellPoint and Home Depot.
Norquist said, “We argued to K Street — to trade associations, Fortune 500 companies, the Chamber of Commerce, National Association of Manufacturers — you should hire people who agree with you philosophically. That means, labor unions, you should hire liberals.”
But the phrase “K Street Project” has since come to encompass a nefarious practice
of Republican lawmakers pressuring groups to hire right-leaning employees; Rep.
Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was admonished by the House ethics committee for doing so in 1998.
Republican Sen. Rick Santorum has come under fire in his reelection race from Pennsylvania Treasurer Bob Casey Jr., his likely Democratic challenger, for hosting weekly meetings between Republican senators and lobbyists, another event that has come to be seen as part of K Street Project.
Norquist’s trademark application could take up to a year and a half to be processed.

In the meantime, DailyKos blogger mini mum suggested that "[s]ince it will take 18 months to process the application, I suggest someone photoshop the icon with a couple of streetwalkers under it..."

Okay. You asked for it:

(Photoshopped by yours truly.)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Jack Abramoff part of the K Street deal, too?

*****

Libby ~~Gives Cheney The Finger~~ Fingers Cheney

This little tidbit comes from an article in the National Journal:

Vice President Dick Cheney directed his then-chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, on July 12, 2003 to leak to the media portions of a then-highly classified CIA report that Cheney hoped would undermine the credibility of former Ambassador Joseph C. Wilson, a critic of the Bush administration's Iraq policy, according to Libby's grand jury testimony in the CIA leak case and sources who have read the classified report.

And Libby's testimony also points to Dubya, former press secretary Ari Fleischer, and, as always, Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove.

I think it's getting to a point where it would be easier to just list the people at the White House who weren't involved in some with with the CIA leak case. As best as I can tell, the list is as follows:

Some of the kitchen staff
Jenna Bush
The lawn maintenance guy
The Bush family's dog, Barney (unverified)

*****

Zacarias Moussaoui: What a Dickweed

Currently going through the death-penalty phase of his trial, would-be al-Qaida terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui, the only person to be tried in this country in connection with the 9/11 terrorist attacks, says he's glad that people died on September 11th, 2001. He also has suggested that he and wannabe shoe-bomber Richard Reid were supposed to hijack yet another plane and crash it into the White House.

Already found guilty, Moussaoui is doing everything he can to get himself executed, his argument being that he would rather be executed "in battle" than die in a prison cell. My personal opinion is that he should be given life in prison for that reason alone. Why should this assclown be given the death he wants so badly, allowing him to portray himself as the martyr he so badly wants to be? Stick him in a box and let him rot. That'll learn him.

*****

The First Democrat to Throw His Hat into the 2008 Election is...

...some guy that almost nobody has ever heard of.

Mike Gravel is the first Democrat to announce that he will run for president in 2008.

Now, when I first read this, I, like I'm sure many of you who are reading this now are doing, immediately thought, "Who?" Fortunately, the dirth of information on these here "internets" and about two minutes of research reveals that Gravel actually does have a bit of a history about him. Here's what Wikipedia has to say about him:

Maurice Robert Gravel (born May 13, 1930 in Springfield, Massachusettes), better
known as Mike Gravel, was a Democratic U.S. Senator from Alaska for two terms, from 1969 to 1981. He is primarily known for having put into the public record a large portion of the Pentagon Papers by entering 4,100 pages of the Papers into the record of his Senate subcommittee on Buildings and Grounds, in 1971.
He is the first declared candidate for the 2008 Democratic nomination for President of the United States. (My emphasis.)

Ah... Well, that explains it. He's a former Democratic Senator from Alaska who hasn't held office for twenty-five years, and read parts of a report about the government's involvement in Vietnam to a subcommittee for the Committee on Public Works. Why hasn't this guy been elected president already? (Did you catch the subtle sarcasm in there?)
*****

Iran, Israel, and the Bomb

The really big story (as opposed to the continuous stream of scandal news surrounding the White House and Republicans in Congress) is that Dubya and Friends have turned their sights on Iran because they are enriching uranium. BushCo is convinced that Iran is trying to build nuclear (or "nukyular", if you're White House staff) weapons, insisting that they could have a nuke in days.

According to Juan Cole, professor of history at University of Michigan (GO BLUE!), this is not the case:

Iran Can Now Make glowing Mickey Mouse Watches

Despite all the sloppy and inaccurate headlines about Iran "going nuclear," the fact is that all President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said on Tuesday was that it had enriched uranium to a measely 3.5 percent, using a bank of 180 centrifuges hooked up so that they "cascade."

The ability to slightly enrich uranium is not the same as the ability to build a bomb. For the latter, you need at least 80% enrichment, which in turn would require about 16,000 small centrifuges hooked up to cascade. Iran does not have 16,000 centrifuges. It seems to have 180. Iran is a good ten years away from having a bomb, and since its leaders, including Supreme Jurisprudent Ali Khamenei, say they do not want an atomic bomb because it is Islamically immoral, you have to wonder if they will ever have a bomb.

The title says it all, I think. And there are others who believe that Iran is at least sixteen years away from being able to produce anything like a nuclear weapon.

On a related subject, while the U.S. actually has some support for the idea that Iran's attempts to enrich uranium might not just be for peaceful purposes, you would think that they would be doing everything they could to look as unthreatening and docile as possible.

You would think...

However, what Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is doing may not qualify as "thinking," as such.

It seems that Ahmadinejad made a statement Friday about how he is looking forward to "annihilating" Israel. From the article:

Days after announcing that Iran had successfully enriched uranium, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Friday called Israel a "rotten, dried tree"
that will be annihilated by "one storm."

Opening of at the opening ceremony of the Qods (Jerusalem) conference in Tehran on supporting the Palestinians, Ahmadinejad fired a series of verbal shots at Israel, saying it was a "permanent threat" to the Middle East that will "soon" be liberated, and again questioning the validity of the Nazi Holocaust against Jews in World War II.

"Like it or not, the Zionist regime is heading toward annihiliation," Ahmadinejad said. "The Zionist regime is a rotten, dried tree that will be eliminated by one storm," he said.

This is not, of course, the first time that Ahmadinejad has made statements such as these. Last October, he said Israel should be "wiped off the map." He also said of the Holocaust, "If such a disaster is true, why should the people of this region pay the price? Why does the Palestinian nation have to be suppressed and have its land occupied?"

That guy needs a better speechwriter...

*****

And that wraps it up. I'll try to be a bit more regular about posting from now on.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Getting Caught Up...

2006-04-04T00:07:00.000-04:00

I've been dragging my feet lately, because I got a copy of Guitar Pro 5, and I've been transcribing songs like crazy with it. But today, I'm going to get caught up with some of the things I have caught from the blogs, the radio, and the occasional bit of TV between songs. (In no particular order.)

Let's get started, shall we?

*****

First, Tom DeLay has announced that he's not going to run for re-election, even though he already won the TX-22 primary. According to a Time magazine article:

The surprise decision was based on the sort of ruthless calculation that had once given him unchallenged dominance of House Republicans and their wealthy friends in Washington's lobbying community: he realized he might lose in this November's election. DeLay got a scare in a Republican primary last month, and a recent poll taken by his campaign gave him a roughly 50-50 shot of winning, in an election season when Republicans need every seat they can hang onto to avoid a Democratic takeover of the House [...]

So, basically, Tommy's not absolutely certain he's going to win, so he's dropping out before he has to face defeat under the weight of his own failures. (Speaking of which, how's that indictment coming along, Tom?) How truly Republican of him to cut and run when he can't fix the odds in his favor.

DeLay's retirement will likely take place sometime next month, when he changes his residence to his condo in Virginia.

*****

Next, Katherine Harris is trying to put a good face on her "imploding" run for the Senate. Unfortunately, it's this face:

She's a MAN, baby!

However, to her credit, Harris has decided to stay the course, because she believes she has the right assets. See if you can figure out what they are from this helpful photograph:

(Photo shamelessly lifted from the comments section of an article on Daily Kos.)

Yikes.

Anyway, on March 21st Harris promised that she would put her entire $10 million inheritance into her senatorial run, prompting the creation of a new website called MakeHerSpendItAll.com. Later that day, her staff explained exactly what she meant by that:

Due largely to her repeating the phrase, "I'm putting everything on the line," folks assumed she meant she was adding that cash to the inheritance money she'd already pledged to spend. In other words, we understood she was actually putting "everything" on the line.

But now her campaign says she's not spending her inheritance, only her liquidated assets, which Harris says also total $10 million.

Money quote: "I think I'm being pretty clear," her campaign spokeswoman Morgan Dobbs told the Orlando Sentinel.

As clear as mud.

*****

Why isn't Dick Cheney singing on American Idol?

While speaking to a crowd at a campaign stop on Orlando, Florida, Vice President "Big Dick" Cheney said of Democrats, "If they are competent to fight this war, then I ought to be singing on American Idol."

This from the guy who got five deferments to avoid serving in the military and is second banana to a guy who joined the National Guard to avoid going to Vietnam, and then went AWOL. And there are countless other Republicans in the White House and Congress who avoided having to wear a uniform and learn to march.

The Democrats, on the other hand, have a pretty solid record of military participation. Sure, Bill Clinton didn't, but he was honest about it and never started a war for profit resulting in over 2300 members of the military dying, as well as at least 30,000 Iraqi civilians.

Anyway, it seems to me that most Democratic politicians are more competent to fight this "war" than pretty much every Republican politician combined. So start singin', DICK!

*****

WashingtonPost.com hired the co-founder of RedState.com, 24-year old Ben "Box Turtle" Domeneche, to write a blog on their website called Red America. Domeneche was hired supposedly to bring "balance" to the Post's website.

Almost immediately, bloggers like Atrios and Daily Kos (among many others) went to work on Ben, trying to show that he was incompetent, at best. What they found, though, was even more intriguing than an uninformed chickenhawk Republican. It turns out that Domeneche was also a serial plagiarist! (Here are just a few of them. More are available.)

Best of all, he lifted almost an entire article from P.J. O'Rourke, whom he claimed had given him permission to use the article. (He did not, however, offer any credit.) O'Rourke, when contacted, said he didn't ever recall even meeting Domeneche, let alone giving him permission to copy the article.

After blaming the whole thing on editors from the newspaper he worked at during his time in college (he dropped out), he resigned two days later to the cheering of Lefties everywhere. Good times.

*****

And finally, Senator Russ Feingold's censure resolution got a little more support from Democrats in the Senate, as well as an actual hearing. Of course, the whole thing is a farce, and nothing will happen - at least until November, when midterm elections may give control of one or both houses of Congress back to the Democrats. (Sort of like the Jedi coming back into power after the long reign of the Sith. Please refrain from calling me a nerd because I used this metaphor.)

And that about wraps it up. I do, however, want to say a quick "howdy" to Dexter, who has apparently been checking by from time to time to see if I'm alive. So, hiya, Dex!

Oh yeah... And Kim is an animal. That's all you need to know.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Helen Thomas, You Da Man!

2006-03-21T20:36:00.000-05:00

President Bush gave a speech today, in yet another failed attempt to bring up his poll numbers - you know, the ones he doesn't pay attention to - and perhaps shore up a bit more support for his ridiculous war in Iraq.

After spending a bit of time going over the usual talking points - stay the course, 9/11, Islamo-fascists, yadda yadda yadda - and wasting even more oxygen that could better be used by non-knuckle-dragging, upright walking mammals like you and me, he opened the floor to questions, which is always entertaining when the audience hasn't been pre-screened. Oh, and did I mention that this particular Q&A was in front of the White House press corp?

Among those chosen to ask questions was Helen Thomas, an intelligent, thoughtful and, above all, insistent reporter who has been covering the White House for the past several centuries.

First, it's surprising that Thomas was called on at all. As best as anyone can remember, she hasn't been called on in the past four years, and it's possible that even she was taken by surprise. However, she rallied nicely, and managed to deliver a forceful bitch-slap with her single question:

Thomas: I'd like to ask you, Mr. President -- your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime.

Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is: Why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, your Cabinet officers, former Cabinet officers, intelligence people and so forth -- but what's your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil, the quest for oil. It hasn't been Israel or anything else. What was it?

Damn!

But the president, always on his toes, bobbed and weaved to the best of his abilities, cutting off Thomas with any possible follow-up she might have had:

Bush: I think your premise, in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist -- that I didn't want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong, Helen, in all due respect.

Thomas: And...

Bush: Hold on for a second, please. Excuse me. Excuse me.

No president wants war. Everything you may have heard is that, but it's just simply not true.

My attitude about the defense of this country changed in September the 11th. When we got attacked, I vowed then and there to use every asset at my disposal to protect the American people.

Our foreign policy changed on that day. You know, we used to think we were secure because of oceans and previous diplomacy. But we realized on September the 11th, 2001, that killers could destroy innocent life.

And I'm never going to forget it. And I'm never going to forget the vow I made to the American people, that we will do everything in our power to protect our people.

Part of that meant to make sure that we didn't allow people to provide safe haven to an enemy, and that's why I went into Iraq.

(CROSSTALK)

Bush: Hold on for a second. Excuse me for a second, please. Excuse me for a second. They did. The Taliban provided safe haven for Al Qaida.

That's where Al Qaida trained and that's where...

Thomas: (OFF-MIKE)

Bush: Helen, excuse me.

That's where -- Afghanistan provided safe haven for Al Qaida. That's where they trained, that's where they plotted, that's where they planned the attacks that killed thousands of innocent Americans.

I also saw a threat in Iraq. I was hoping to solve this problem diplomatically. That's why I went to the Security Council. That's why it was important to pass 1441, which was unanimously passed.
Thomas: Did they say go to war?

And the world said, "Disarm, disclose or face serious consequences." And therefore, we worked with the world. We worked to make sure that Saddam Hussein heard the message of the world.

And when he chose to deny the inspectors, when he chose not to disclose, then I had the difficult decision to make to remove him. And we did. And the world is safer for it.

After completely failing to give an honest and clear answer to Thomas, he deliberately turned away from her to take a question from someone else.

Now, admittedly, this may not seem like that big a deal, until you see Dubya's expression when Thomas tries to interrupt him so she can follow up. I suggest going to Crooks & Liars and checking out the video.The rest of the press conference was a practice in futility because, as with Thomas, Dubya refused to actually answer any questions with a straight answer, other than to suggest that he does not intend to let anyone on his staff go, regardless of the numerous calls for exactly that.

Later, Thomas made a brief appearance on CNN to speak with Leslie "Wolf" Blitzer, where she continued her campaign of verbally smacking around really dumb guys. According to the CNN transcript, Blitzer asked why Dubya had not called on her in the past few years. Thomas, ever the honest professional, had this to say:

Thomas: That's right. So -- well, he wasn't calling on me because I think he was avoiding what he considered very tough questions that I would be asking. And I don't blame him for that. That's his privilege.

Leslie Blitzer then moved on to a more direct question about the "confrontation" in the press room:

Blitzer: And you asked him a tough question. Did you accept his answer? Namely, that he didn't come into the presidency believing he was going to go to war against Saddam Hussein, but after 9/11 his world view changed?

Thomas: It doesn't -- it doesn't parse. Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, it certainly had -- was secular, it was not tied to al Qaeda.

I think he wanted to go into Iraq because he had all the neo- conservatives advising at the top of their agenda for Project for a New American Century. First Iraq, then Iran -- then Syria, then Iran, and so forth.

Blitzer: So you believe even before 9/11, he was about -- he wanted to take out Saddam Hussein?

Thomas: Oh, I think this is very clear. You couldn't sit in that press room day after day. Every time -- every time it was mentioned by Ari Fleischer or Scott, they would say in one breath, 9/11, Saddam Hussein, 9/11, Saddam Hussein.

I don't -- I don't blame the American public for thinking there was a tie.

After that, things started to get a bit tense, and ended with Thomas pointing out that Blitzer has basically turned into a puss:

Blitzer: Let's go back to this issue, being the worst president ever. And you've covered a lot of presidents, going back to President Kennedy.

Worse than Richard Nixon?

Thomas: Well, I think what this president has done is really strike a match to the tinderbox that we all know is the Middle East. And I think that Nixon's crime, so-called, was the abuse of government power.

In the case, in the case of the president and his cohorts, I think they have really spread war throughout the Middle East. They have really encouraged all of the horror that is going on.

We have killed so many innocent people. I mean...

Blitzer: But you can't forget 9/11. Three thousand people were killed.

Thomas: But the Iraqis didn't do it. I mean, how can you -- why don't you go bomb some other country? I mean, if you have no reason -- this is -- I don't believe in preemptive war, and it certainly is against international law. It's against the U.N. charter, it's against Geneva, and it's against Nuremberg. BLITZER: Tell our viewers, who, as I said earlier, have grown up with you, Helen, what you're up to nowadays, how you feel, what your goals are right now.

Thomas: My goals are to seek the truth, wherever it leads me. And I do think that's the goal of journalists, and I think we fell down on the job.

Blitzer: The news media in general? That we weren't watching?

Thomas: Come back. All is forgiven.

Blitzer: You're going to forgive us?

Thomas: To the White House.

Blitzer: You're part of -- they're part of the news media, too.

Thomas: Right.

Blitzer: We sat in those briefings for a long time together.

Helen, I hope you're around...

Thomas: You ask very tough questions.

Blitzer: Well, I'm trying to do the best I can, like you.

Thomas: You asked President Clinton why he wouldn't resign.

Blitzer: I asked him some tough questions, but that's another time. And this is another story right now.

From there, Blitzer ended the interview.

Again, the man is a total puss, and I give huge props to Helen Thomas for standing up for the Truth (with a capital "T") while so many other White House reporters, as well as others in the mainstream media, fold under the smirking pomposity of the Chimp-in-Chief.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Seeing Red...Not So Much...

2006-03-16T21:24:00.000-05:00

Via a link at Daily Kos, check out a nifty little graphic from Radical Writ concerning Dubya's continuously dropping approval rating. (Sorry, for some reason I couldn't post it here.)

Interesting, don't you think?

Dubya's numbers have been dropping pretty consistently lately, with even his media wing, Fox News, giving him only 39% approval.

And then, of course, there's Senator Russ Feingold's call for a censure of the president for the illegal wiretapping program. Oh, and let's not forget Representative John Conyer's (D-MI) request for a committee to look into grounds for impeachment against Dubya (House Resolution 635), first presented on December 18th, 2005, which now has 32 sponsors or co-sponsors in the House.

Of course, one cannot help but also point out that, while it may have seemed implausible that impeachment would be supported by regular Americans like you and me, a new poll suggests that 42% of Americans are now in favor of impeaching Dubya, according to Raw Story. A slightly higher 46% supports Senator Feingold's call for censure. Here are a few more interesting points from the Raw Story article:

Even more shocking is that just 57% of Republicans are opposed to the move, with 14% still undecided and 29% actually in favor. Fully 70% of Democrats want to see Bush censured.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised by the Democrat numbers. Who are the other 30%? People with open-head injuries? People who ate lead-based paint chips as children? Joe Leiberman's followers? The world will never know...

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

An Open Letter to Senate Democrats

2006-03-14T20:10:00.000-05:00

To The Democratic Senators in Washington, D.C. :

I am a registered voter from Michigan who, after considering which party had the most to offer people like myself, chose to register as a Democrat when I did register, almost twenty years ago. I chose the Democratic party because I felt that they supported the "little guy," like myself, whereas the Republicans were all about big business.

When President Clinton, the first president I voted for (both times), was impeached by the Republicans in Congress over marital infidelity - which, while I do not condone it, I also do not feel that it was something I should have had to hear about day in and day out on television; what happened should have stayed between the president, his wife, and Miss Lewinsky - I stood by my votes for him because, personal issues aside, he was a good president. He had eliminated the federal deficit and had, in fact, allowed a surplus to build. He had helped develop stronger relations throughout the world. He created jobs for people like me. The country was in good shape. To put it simply, he did his job. And he fought tooth-and-nail against the Repulicans in Congress who tried to kill off his initiatives.

When Al Gore ran for president in 2000, I voted for him as well. I felt that he would be able to carry on the work that President Clinton had started - taking us in the right direction. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who felt this way. The majority of voters felt the same way I did, and voted him into office. Unfortunately, many of those votes were not counted until well after the fact, and the election was decided by the Supreme Court, which had every reason to choose in favor of George W. Bush, what with their connections to his father and his father's former boss, Ronald Reagan. But up until the Court chose the president, Gore put up a strong fight in an attempt to make sure every vote was counted. He had my respect.

In 2004, John Kerry ran a solid campaign against an incumbent president who did everything in his power to make Kerry out to be some sort of anti-American traitor. The treatment Kerry received from Bush, as well as groups working under the umbrella of Bush's supporters and handlers (such as Karl Rove), was not enough to bring the man down. He worked hard, stood by his message (albeit rather longwindedly), and kept on proving that the only issue Bush could run on was his ridiculous "war" - a war of covenience, which had nothing to do with the attacks of September 11th, 2001, no matter how hard Bush and company tried to tie it in. When it came time to vote, I voted for Kerry because I felt that he, a decorated military veteran, could do a better job of getting our troops back home from Iraq. At the very least, he could do a better job than an AWOL National Guard pilot whose only public "military record" consists of some dental records.

Once again, as the votes were being tallied, there were inconsistencies. There were rumors of voter intimidation in areas that were known to be Democratic strongholds in Ohio. There were problems with voting machines, which were built by a company that strongly supports the Republican party. All of the same things that happened in Florida four years earlier were taking place in Ohio, and then some. Exit polls, which are normally very accurate, called overwhelmingly for Ohio to go to John Kerry, giving him the election. But we all know how that one finished - before all of the votes were finally counted, John Kerry conceded to President Bush, allowing him to have a second term. The fight this time was, at best, minimal.

When the "official" vote count came out, Bush's "victory" was only by a very small margin. President Bush, however, called it a "Mandate", suggesting that the people had spoken, and they had chosen him. It would later come to light that, like in 2000, they had not. But nobody said much of anything about it. This was where things started to go really bad.

In the five years that President Bush has been in the White House, things have gone from good to worse. The "war" continues. The surplus that President Clinton had given us has dwindled to a record-breaking deficit in the face of two tax cuts that Bush pushed through in his first term, allowing for enormous cuts for the top 1% of earners in the country (unheard of, especially in a time of "war"), while the middle and lower class took up the largest part of the burden. The Patriot Act has taken away the civil liberties that we Americans were promised 270 years ago, and every president until the current one has upheld for us. The "small government" Republicans have made it even bigger, even while closing off valuable government programs designed to help those who need it the most. Congress is rife with corruption, as the Abramoff, DeLay, and other scandals have shown us.

And last year, we learned that the President believes he is above the law. His illegal warrantless wiretap program with the NSA has allowed him to thumb his nose at the Constitution that you, the ones who are supposed to be elected "by the people, for the people," and he swore to uphold. In bypassing the FISA court, President Bush has broken the law. Countless legal experts, and even some Congresspersons from his own party believe this is the case.

Members of his staff are allegedly responsible for leaking the name of a covert CIA operative to the press, a clear violation to the law. One of those staff members is currently under indictment, and others are still being investigated.

For God's sake, the Vice President shot a 78 year old lawyer in the face, waited twenty-four hours to report it, and was let go without so much as a minor investigation, even with rumors of alcohol being involved!

Where are the Democrats that I believed would support the "little people" back when I registered to vote? On almost every issue that has come up against the president, Congressional Democrats have made a lot of noise, but have done little else. Some, such as Senator Leiberman, have rolled over and become lapdogs for the White House, wagging their tails and licking the hand of the man who doesn't believe the law applies to him.

And yesterday, when Senator Feingold asked for a motion to censure the president, Senator Frist decided to try and force Feingold's hand by calling for an immediate vote. Did you, Senator Feingold's colleagues, stand by him and support the motion?

No. Instead, you used stalling tactics to put a hold on the vote - which now will most likely never see the light of day - and went on TV to tell everybody that Feingold's actions were "grandstanding" and "all about him." You whined about "alienating voters" and "looking weak on national security."

How dare you? How dare you turn your back on one of your colleagues? Especially when he is the only one of you who has enough of a spine to stand up to the administration and attempt to hold it accountable for its questionable and, above all, illegal activities. How dare you question the motivation behind Senator Feingold's actions, when you yourselves have repeatedly called for action against the president, although none of you had the nerve to be the first to take a stand?

The only voters you have alienated are the ones who, like myself, believed that you represented them. I know a lot of Democratic voters. I have not heard one say that they didn't want the president held accountable for breaking the law. Many have pointed out that President Clinton, whose biggest indiscretion was cheating on his wife, was held accountable before Congress, and paid a price for it. President Bush is, directly or indirectly, responsible for the deaths of over 2500 American soldiers in Iraq, a country that has never done anything to us, as well as more than 30,000 civilian deaths. Every day, those death tolls grow. He has forced his version of "democracy" (complete with questionable election results) on a country he decided to invade based on bad or false information, and is looking to force it on another in the not-to-distant future. My Democrat friends (as well as several Republicans I know) believe that Bush has lied to the people who supposedly put him in office. They believe we are caught up in a civil war in a country that doesn't want us there. They believe this country is headed in the wrong direction under this man's control.

They believe he needs to be held accountable. Why don't you?

Again, I ask: Where are the Democrats that I believed would support the "little people" back when I registered to vote? So far, only Senator Feingold has stood up to this call.

DCF

OH NO! We Don't Have A Slogan!

2006-03-10T21:07:00.000-05:00

Republican National Committee head Ken Mehlman gave a speech today to the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in Tennessee, and made a point to show what a horrible party the Democratic party is.

"Not only can they not settle on an agenda, they can't even agree on a slogan," Mehlman said in remarks prepared for delivery. He then offered some suggestions, albeit critical ones.

"If they really want the American people to know what they are going to do, then how about, 'Together, Americans can pay more in taxes,' " he said. "Or, 'Together, we can retreat from the central front in the war on terror.' "

Hur! Hur! Hur! That's hilarious, Ken! Tell me... Does it hurt much?

Of course, numerous news sites have made much of this, including Netscape News with CNN, who posted this fascinating headline:

Indicted? By whom? Mehlman? CNN? To my knowledge, neither of those entities has the power to indict anyone. To bring an indictment against someone, you need to be some kind of lawyer, like, say, Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald, who has indicted I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby (and, if God is paying attention, will be doing the same to Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove), or DA Ronnie Earle, who has indicted Tom DeLay, don't you?

No, in this case, it was CNN taking a bit of liberty - and a really sleazy grab for readers - by posting a flat-out bogus headline about Mehlman's speech. Nice.

Getting back to Mehlman's speech; as I said, he suggested that the Democrats can't even come up with a slogan for their 2008 convention. Apparently, this is supposed to show just how disorganized we are, running around without a clear agenda or message. However, with just a quick click, you can go to the Democratic National Committee's website and have a look at the agenda the party has laid out.

Now, if you're taking about the Republican party... Well, then you can have a ton of slogans, such as the ones listed on Daily Kos:

"The world changed on September the 11th."
"We fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here."
"Freedom is on the march."
"Up or down vote, up or down vote, up or down vote (deep breath...) up or down vote, up or down vote, up or down vote."

As for a legitimate agenda, the RNC appears to be recycling their points from the last two election cycles: "Stay the course!" Admittedly, it is kind of catchy, and you can dance to it. However, it doesn't exactly address the ongoing issues that it should, such as the rising insurgency in Iraq, which teeters on the edge of civil war as I write this. (Although there are some GOP spokesmonkeys who are spouting the old Katrina-inspired White House nugget about how we "dodged a bullet" on that one.)

One of the growing number of people who are not buying the Republican finger-pointing is MSNBC host Joe Scarborough, who had this to say today:

"The lack of leadership in Washington, D.C., is sickening. If you look at what Republicans did-promised to do in 1994, when they took control of Congress, and see how they've been acting over the past three or four years, the biggest debt and deficit ever. They are irresponsible and reckless on so many levels. I'm embarrassed right now to be a Republican. It's a disgrace because of the lack of leadership."

Wait a minute, Joe... I thought that was supposed to be us Democrats...

Another MSNBC host, Hardball host Chris "Tweety" Matthews, however, is standing side-by-side with the Republicans, just so long as they're willing to pay him to do it.

But that's all beside the point, which is that the Democrats do have an agenda. And no, they do not currently have a slogan for their 2008 convention. That's because they're busy trying to actually help their constituents by attempting to do their jobs to the best of their abilities. (Although this is somewhat hampered by the Republican majority in both the House and the Senate, who seem intent on making sure nothing the Dems try will get through, just to show 'em who's boss - with the exception of the Dubai Ports Worls deal; credit where it's due, and kudos to those Repubs who stood by and supported the Dems.)

I guess that explains why Dubya's numbers are back down to 37%.

That about wraps it up for now, except for one little item for my own entertainment:

Van Halen guitarist Edward Van Halen came out of his cave (the guy's more elusive than Dick Cheney!) to attend an Oscar Night after-party hosted by Sir Elton John. Paparazzi managed to get a few shots of him, including this not-so-good one:

What is up with that facial expression?

Anyway, BDillon, one of the members over at EddieVanHalen.com, is sponsoring a contest for members, ending tonight, to Photoshop the picture any way we want to. I've done quite a few - you can enter multiple images - and thought I'd post a few of my favorites here. Enjoy.

And this last one:

Have a great weekend!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

A Whole Buncha Stuff

2006-03-09T22:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I've been a tiny bit lax in my posting this past week. (My brother probably thinks I've been deported or something - I'm okay, Vern!)

Anyway, because it's been so long, I've got a ton of stuff to post. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep the chit-chat light so you can get the idea... Let's go to the phones!

In no particular order...

The big news from today is that Dubai Ports World has given up its quest to take over several U.S. ports, after ongoing complaints from Congress. President Bush was relieved, not having to break his streak of "Longest Time in Office Without Having to Use His Magic Veto Pen". However, news has come to light that DP World are probably not worried due to their $50 million contract to maintain U.S. naval vessels in the Middle East. DP World has said they're going to divest to a U.S. company. Guess who it is?

Disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff is singin' like a bird! In a new article in Vanity Fair magazine, Abramoff mentions quite a few people by name - particularly George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Tom DeLay and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich. Funny that none of these guys can remember ever meeting him. That's okay, though. Abramoff's got a whole bunch of pictures.

Speaking of DeLay, Tuesday night was Democratic and Republican primary night in Texas. DeLay, who is currently under indictment for money laundering, managed to still gain the Repub nod in District 22. Clearly, the "moral majority" doesn't have a problem with electing an alleged felon calling the shots for them. On the downside, Ciro Rodriguez, whose campaign got a late, but much needed shot in the arm fron the netroots (amounting to close to $300,000 raised on various left wing blogs and other sites) was unable to beat incumbent Henry Cuellar in District 28, to receive the Dem nomination. It's a sad thing because Cuellar is about as much a Democrat as I am a Republican.

If you're a fan and customer to internet porn sites owned by a company that is serviced (no pun intended) by iBill, an internet credit card billing company, you may be one of the 170,000 whose personal information has been sold to some spammer who is going tot ry to rip you off. It turns out someone stole all of those records, and is selling them on the black market to the highest bidders.

Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), who in January swore he would stop taking meetings with lobbyists is, in fact, meeting with many of the same lobbyists, at the same time, on the same day as he did before. Another lie. What a surprise.

A woman in San Diego named Linda Laroca was fired because she had an a bumper sticker on her car advertising Air America Radio on a local station. (KLSD 1360.) While meeting with her boss, Beverly Fath on a Saturday afternoon, Laroca met with her at a grocery store to give her some documents she needed. When Fath spotted the sticker, she called it "that Al Franken left wing radical radio station," according to the lawsuit Laroca has filed. Fath also added, "The country is on a high state of alert. For all I know, you could be al-Qaida."

See if you can figure out this commercial. Am I the only one who thinks that Vernon Robinson is a bit of a dickweed?

Discount department store giant, Wal-Mart, has decided to hit the net in an attempt to bring a little shine to its tarnished image. They're only hitting up right wing blogs, because they are the ones who have no problems with Wal-Mart's treatment of its employees.

Donald Rumsfeld continued to deny that there's anything wrong going on in Iraq. In fact, he believes everything is hunky-dory. The only problem is, the people who are actually there aren't quite so optimistic. In a recent poll, 72& of the soldiers stationed in Iraq said that the U.S. should get out of there within the next year.

I absolutely love The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert's "spinoff" from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The guy is a genius. (Or his writers are. It doesn't matter.) In particular, I really enjoy "The Word" - a piece he does pretty much every day, where he explains a phrase one way, while the graphics people tell the truth. Here's a recent (and incredibly funny) example.

Senator Pat Roberts (R-KS), the chairman of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, is helping the White House out by completely failing in his job and not investigating the voluminous intelligence issues he should be looking into.

South Dakota has passed legislation that bans abortions in that state, except in cases where the mother's life may be in danger. Not a word about incest. State senator Bill Napoli did address what he considered a viable candidate who might have been raped: "A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life." Rather graphic, don't you think? And a bit on the excessive side, too.

The president signed a renewal of the Patriot Act again. However, he had to accept a few measures that were put in it to keep him under control. (If that's at all possible.) The new Act allows people who receive a subpoena under FISA for medical, library and other records, to fight it in court. It also puts strict new guidelines into effect for the sale of over-the-counter cold and alergy medicines in order to cut production of methamphetamines. How this affects national security is beyond me, but I'm just a guy with a blog.

And finally, Kurt Vonnegut, author of Slaughterhouse Five, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, and my personal favorite, Breakfast of Champions, gave a speech at Ohio State University a few days ago, speaking to a group of about 2,000 students about a number of things, including his thoughts on Bush ("I just want to say that George W. Bush is the syphilis president”), the Democratic party ("We have no Democratic Party...[s]o we have no representatives in Washington. Working people have no leverage whatsoever"), and his philosophy ("We are here on Earth to fart around"). Read the whole article and understand why it is that I love this man's work.

Anyway, that wraps it up for now. Tune in next time, when we'll show you how to create your own uranium enrichment program with just a few old metal tubes.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Bush, the Humanitarian Who Cares... (Yeah. Sure.)

2006-03-04T16:14:00.000-05:00

SusanG over at Daily Kos has a fascinating article comparing Dubya's actions against his own words. F'rinstance:

People appreciate somebody who sets a tone, a tone that values life.
-- George W. Bush, June 5, 2000

Fact: Estimated 100,000+ Iraqi civilian deaths.

Fact: 2,506 coalition military deaths as of 3/3/06

Because a society is measured by how it treats the weak and vulnerable, we must strive to build a culture of life.
-- George W. Bush, Feb. 2, 2005

Fact: 16,742 American military wounded as of 3/3/06.

Fact: Even though the cost of providing medical care to veterans has been growing by leaps and bounds, White House budget documents assume a cutback in 2008 and further cuts thereafter.

----

I believe the most solemn duty of the American president is to protect the American people.
--George W. Bush, March 31, 2005

Fact: 1300+ dead in Katrina

Fact: 1,900+ still missing from Katrina as of 2/22/06.

Fact: Hurricane Katrina exposed the U.S. government's failure to learn the lessons of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, as leaders from President Bush down disregarded ample warnings of the threat to New Orleans and did not execute emergency plans or share information that would have saved lives, according to a blistering report by House investigators.

Still not buying it? Try this one on for size:

In our time, respect for the right to life calls us to defend the sick and the dying, persons with disabilities and birth defects, and all who are weak and vulnerable.
George W. Bush, January 23, 2006

Fact: Estimated 55,000 deaths and 160,000 heart attacks due to Vioxx, a pain reliever for those suffering from arthritis.

Fact: Dr. David J. Graham of the FDA's Office of Drug Safety told Senate investigators he faced resistance to his findings within the FDA and that instead of acting as a public watchdog, the Food and Drug Administration was busy challenging its own expert and calling his work scientific rumor.

Fact: Graham's testimony at the hearing became front-page news after he identified the FDA's handling of Vioxx as the worst public health disaster in its history, resulting in a probable 30,000-55,000 deaths. No official could credibly challenge his Vioxx findings, and he identified five other suspect drugs: Accutane, Bextra, Crestor, Meridia, and Serevent.
A week after the hearing, sympathetic insider colleagues and press contacts warned Graham that the FDA was finalizing plans to exile him from drug safety work within days.

Read the rest of the article. Although it is ostensibly an argument concerning his stance on abortion, it brings together several instances where George W. Bush - a so-called "pro-lifer" - has indirectly caused, or at the very least sopported efforts that caused, the loss of numerous lives.

"Pro-lifer," indeed.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

A Slight DeLay...

2006-03-02T20:19:00.000-05:00

Well, here's another big shock in the ongoing Abramoff scandal that has wrangled in a large number of Republicans in Congress.

It turns out that former House Majority Leader Tom "I Didn't Do Nothin', Copper!" DeLay's insistence that he's no more than an acquaintance is, in fact, complete and utter crap. Of course, this comes as no real surprise to anyone who has been paying attention at all.

First, DeLay denied even really knowing Abramoff, who recently pleaded guilty to fraud charges. Abramoff was, naturally, a little disappointed that DeLay said that, especially after the way DeLay talked about their friendship while visiting the Northern Marianas Islands on a "fact-finding" trip in 1997:

"When one of my closest and dearest friends, Jack Abramoff, your most able representative in Washington, D.C., invited me to the islands, I wanted to see firsthand the free-market success and the progress and reform you have made."

Now, however, new information has arisen that shows Abramoff paid for first-class tickets to Scotland for DeLay and his wife. If that's not a friend, I need to get me more acquaintances like that!

According to an ABC News article:

When Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, and his wife flew from Houston to a golf resort in Scotland in June 2000, the first-class airfare cost $14,001, a big-ticket item for a public servant. But someone else paid.

The American Express bills of lobbyist Jack Abramoff, who pleaded guilty to fraud charges in January, show he footed the bill for the tickets, in an apparent violation of House ethics rules.
"The source of the travel expenses may not be … a registered lobbyist," according to the House rules. Abramoff was a registered lobbyist at the time.

Oops! Looks like DeLay, who is currently under indictment for unrelated money laundering charges in Texas, could be facing further problems as he attempts to run for re-election in his district in Texas, where he is currently having a rough go of it already.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Washington Spins In His Grave; Earth Thrown From Its Axis!

2006-03-02T00:41:00.000-05:00

Another Day, Another Lie

You know, it's gotten to the point where nobody is surprised anymore when they hear that someone in the Bush Administration has lied to the American public. Frankly, more and more people find it shocking when a day goes by that the administration hasn't lied to us. This can't be the way things are supposed to be.

Let's take a look at today's example, shall we?

In an exclusive interview with ABC News' Elizabeth Vargas, the president said that he didn't quite realize how bad it was in new Orleans until "I saw TV reporters interviewing people who were screaming for help." (This would have been on September 2nd, according to Dan Froomkin over at the Washington Post. More on this in shortly.)

Here's an important bit from the Bush interview:

VARGAS: When you look back on those days immediately following when Katrina struck, what moment do you think was the moment that you realized that the government was failing, especially the people of New Orleans?

BUSH: When I saw TV reporters interviewing people who were screaming for help. It looked — the scenes looked chaotic and desperate. And I realized that our government was — could have done a better job of comforting people.

A lot went right, by the way. I don't want to denigrate the efforts of people that really worked hard. Our Coast Guard people were flying incredibly dangerous missions to rescue I think over 30,000 people from the roofs of their homes.

There was, you know, an amazing response from the citizenry who welcomed people who evacuated. And the state and the city evacuated a lot of people, and that caused there to be less loss of life.

But the chaotic scenes were very troubling. It just — it was very unsettling for me to realize our fellow citizens were in near panic wondering where the help was.

Now, let us recall Bush's words back on September 1st of last year, shall we? Here's the video, if you're not familiar with this fabulous bit of acting.

According to Bush in his Good Morning America interview, "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."

Unfortunately, it turns out that a whole bunch of people suspected that it might happen, including the Army Corp of Engineers, who reported in 2003 that a Category 5 hurricane would more than likely breach the levees and flood New Orleans. Chris Mooney of American Prospect had written about it as recently as May 23rd of last year. Hell, even Mr. Bill (the little clay guy from Saturday Night Live) knew it!

Wednesday, as a recording of a video conference between Bush, FEMA chief and whipping boy Michael Brown, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff and several hurrcane experts found its way to the Associated Press and, subsequently, the public, it became clear that this was clearly not the case. (Crooks and Liars has the video, as well as links to a few other stories about it.)

So, once again, Dubya opens that smirking mouth of his, only to shove his foot in, all the way up to the knee.

*****

He Shoots, He Peppers

And, in a follow-up to Vice President "Big Dick" Cheney shooting Harry Whittington, a 78 year-old Texas lawyer, in the face...

For those of you unfamiliar with Alex Jones, he is a rather...eccentric "journalist" who is also quite the fan of conspiracy theories. A quick look at the headlines on his Infowars website offers such tantalizing information as:

Gulags for American citizens in final planning stages

Is Iraq civil war by design?

And, my favorite...

Here's something to chew on: ID in teeth

Now, as I've mentioned before, I'm not a big fan of conspiracy theories, other than for entertainment purposes. However, I found a link somewhere (sorry, but I can't remember where I found it) which led me to this article and video. In the video, Jones uses a shotgun similar to the one that Cheney used to fire at targets in order to prove that there was no way that Cheney was standing 30 yards away from Whittington at the time of the shooting. According to Jones' "scientific proof", Cheney had to be standing between 15 to 18 feet from Whittington in order for the birdshot to spread the way it did. Watch the video. I'll let you decide.

Okay, so it's not that surprising anymore. Nobody really believed Cheney's story to begin with. And, of course, nobody has been able to find out just how much he'd really had to drink before the shooting. However, I just thought that it was an interesting piece.

*****

Olbermann supporters at the Huffington Post create petition to have Bill O'Reilly replaced by Phil Donahue

The Huffington Post's Bob Cesca started a petition last Friday (February 24th) at PetitionOnline.com to have Bill O'Reilly replaced by former MSNBC reporter Keith Olbermann's predecessor, Phil Donahue. An updated article states that they have already collected over 3200 signatures. (Mine's on there somewhere, too. Why not add your own?)

Cesca's petition was created in response to the petition that Bill O'Reilly is hosting on his website to get Olbermann replaced by Donahue, as reported last week. This whole thing is the result of some ugly on-air jabs between Olbermann and O'Reilly on their respective shows. O'Reilly, it seems, is pretty unhappy because he keeps regularly winning the title of "Worst Person in the World" on Olbermann's Countdown show on MSNBC. Apparently, O'Reilly has issues with having his own words used against him. (He's also not too fond of the website Media Matter for America. They regularly take him to task over statements he makes - and then usually denies making.)

Anyway, here's the text of the petition:

"Dear Your Honor Roger Ailes,

We, the undersigned, are becoming increasingly concerned about the mental health of the host of your 8:00 PM EST show. This host has claimed:

1) San Francisco should be attacked by al-Qaeda terrorists ("homicide bombers").

2) There's a conspiracy to cancel the extremely popular Christmas holiday, even though the culture of Christmas is prevalent in America for nearly three months of every year.

3) That opponents of his show favor personal attacks and smearing, while he routinely employs the pejorative "pinheads" to describe anyone who disagrees with him.

4) That he never used the phrase "shut up" even though he's on-record saying that phrase dozens of times.

5) He has yet to publicly address his sexual penchant for soapy falafel sandwiches and female underlings.

6) He routinely misrepresents factual information (often called "lying"), then claims he told the truth, but will occasionally recant and admit to flagrantly misleading his viewers.

(For more citations of your 8:00 PM EST host's growing level of dysfunction, please visit: http://mediamatters.org/issues_topics/people/billoreilly where there are approximately 400 instances of your host's mental instability.)

As a result, we recommend that you uphold your "fair and balanced" reputation and replace your 8:00 PM EST host with popular talk show host Phil Donahue.

In a recent petition to MSNBC, your host praised Mr. Donahue's ability to draw a large audience and referred to Mr. Donahue's "honor and dignity" -- a perfect fit for Fox News Channel as your current host obviously endorses Donahue's ability to perform in prime time. So he's a perfect replacement for your 8:00 PM EST host who clearly could use some professional psychological assistance.

We look forward to the premiere of The Donahue Factor, weeknights at 8:00 PM on Fox News Channel.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned "

Funny thing about O'Reilly's petition: They've removed the link from his website, so you can't see the names people have left. I wonder why... Maybe it's the signatures he's collecting... (It's a little over halfway down the page linked.)

Olbermann: ...You could read the names of who had signed it, until they took that page down because some of the names seemed to be fictitious. Mr. Keith is Great from Faloofah, Montana, for instance, Look at My from Ratings Drop, North Carolina, someone identified simply as Falafel N from The Shower, Wyoming and Andrea Mackris from How‘s Your Cash, PW.

Somewhere around here, there's a website that happened to get a screen shot from Google's webpage cache that shows the entire list, up until it was yanked by O'Reilly. I'll try to find the link and post it here.

And that wraps it up for today. Stay tuned...

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Bush's Approval Drops, Cheney's Drops Even More; Cheney To Retire?

2006-02-27T20:34:00.000-05:00

In what can only be described by those of us here at The DCF News as "quite possibly the funniest news since Dick Cheney shot a 78 year-old Texas lawyer in the face," CBS News has released a poll showing that George "What, Me Worry?" Bush's approval rating has dropped to a new all-time low of 34%. More worryingly for him, among Republicans alone, his overall approval has dropped from 83% in January to 72% today. That's 11% of his base that have turned on him. Approval of his handling in the "War On Terror" has dropped from 87% in January of this year, to 78%.

This newest drop in his approval is no doubt related to his insistance that we, the American people, trust him when he tells us that there would be no security threat if Dubai Ports World took over control of the operation of several U.S. ports. (Most reports say that it is for operation of only 6 ports, but this article states that it is actually for control of 21 ports.) Further, an undated memo from the Coast Guard states that there are too many gaps in their information at the ports, which creates a security risk. After spending the past five years telling us to be afraid of turban-wearing people all over - "because you never know when one of 'em's got a nukyuler weapon in it" - and fostering a sense of paranoia not felt since the era of McCarthyism, we're now expected to completely drop that idea and say, "Oh, well that's all right, then." Dubya and his administration created this fear and paranoia. Now they have to live with it.

Even more entertaining is that Vice President Dick "Go F#@! Yourself" Cheney's approval ratings actually make Dubya's look good by comparison.

Cheney's approval rating, never all that high to begin with, as he's not exactly the warm, cuddly teddy bear everyone had hoped for, has dropped to 18%. More than likely, this is due to his recent hunting accident, where he shot a 78 year-old Texas lawyer in the face. of course, it could also be related to recent revelations in the CIA leak case, where I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Cheney's former chief of staff, has told prosecutors that he was given permission from his superiors to leak sensitive information to the press to help build support for the war in Iraq.

With the revelations of these low ratings, even among their base, what is the administration going to do? Are they going to turn around, fly right, and start being honest with the American people?

Well, no. It turns out that Cheney might be taking a forced retirement, according to Insight Magazine.

According to the magazine, "Senior GOP sources envision the retirement of Mr. Cheney in 2007, months after the congressional elections. The sources said Mr. Cheney would be persuaded to step down as he becomes an increasing political liability to President Bush."

"Persuaded to step down"? Sounds like a polite way of saying, "We're going to be cutting the chain that has tied this huge, smelly albatross around our necks for the past five years, before its rotting carcass infiltrates every aspect of what we do any further." Of course, I could be reading too much in to this.

Stay tuned...

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Olbermann-O'Reilly Deathmatch Update

2006-02-25T02:41:00.000-05:00

Tonight on his show, Keith Olbermann spoke about Bill O'Reilly's petition to have Phil Donahue re-hired by MSNBC to replace Olbermann out of "concern" for the network's "lost viewership".

However, Olbermann notes that his show's ratings have risen - 20% last year, and a further 6% so far this year - while O'Reilly's have dropped by 21%.

After reminescing about past shows where he took O'Reilly (or, as Olbermann refers to him, "The Big Head") to task, Olbermann said he "felt bad" and understood why O'Reilly was trying to get him fired. In fact, in an attempt to help foster the "inter-network comeraderie" that O'Reilly insists there ought to be, Olbermann signed Bill's petition. What a guy.

At the end of the piece, cameras inside MSNBC's offices showed a looooooong line of MSNBC employees (and even some former employees!) waiting for their turn to sign the online petition, as well.

Watch the clip. You will laugh until it hurts. Keep an eye our for Olbermann's Bill O'Reilly/Ted Knight (from The Mary Tyler-Moore Show) impression. Absolutely hilarious!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Sex Pistols to Hall of Fame: "We're not your monkeys."

2006-02-25T01:41:00.000-05:00

The Sex Pistols, considered by just about every rational, thinking human being to be the godfathers of Punk, are going to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

And they couldn't care less.

In a rather harsh, hand-written letter to the organization that runs the Hall of Fame, the group said that they would not be attending the induction ceremony, and said the museum run by the organization is "urine in wine." The text of the letter (errors and all) is as follows:

Next to the SEX-PISTOLS rock and roll and that hall of fame is a piss stain. Your museum. Urine in wine. Were not coming. Were not your monkey and so what? Fame at $25,000 if we paid for the table or $15000 to sqeak up the gallery goes to a non-profit organisation selling us a load of old famous. Congradulations. If you voted for us, hope you noted your reasons. Your anonymous as judges, but your still music industry people. Were not coming. Your not paying attention. Outside the shit-storm is a a real SEX PISTOL.

The band, consisting of main members Johnny Rotten, Steve Jones, Glen Matlock, Paul Cook and the late Sid Vicious, released the album Never Mind the Bollucks, Here's the Sex Pistols, which featured the hits "Anarchy in the UK", "God Save the Queen", "Pretty Vacant" and "Holidays in the Sun", in 1977. In January of the next year, singer Johnny Rotten quit the band. Sid Vicious, the band's bassist, moved to New York, where he continued as a solo artist. The other members of the band went to Brazil on a "working vacation".

In October of 1978, Sid Vicious was arrested for the murder of his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen. He died four months later of a heroine overdose.

Responding to the letter from the group, Susan Evans, director of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation, said: "They are being the outrageous punksters they are, and that’s rock and roll.”

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Bill O'Reilly Wants To Take His Ball And Go Home

2006-02-24T17:54:00.000-05:00

After failing to win a lawsuit against writer/comedian/radio host Al Franken and then starting an all-out war of words, Bill O'Reilly has decided to try getting Franken in trouble with the Federal Exchange Commission. And now he also wants Keith Olbermann fired and replaced with Phil Donahue!

The lawsuit against Franken, instituted by O'Reilly and filed by Fox News, tried to get Franken to remove the phrase "Fair and Balanced" from the title of his 2004 book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right because Fox believed it was a trademarked phrase. The case was thrown out, Franken was allowed to keep the phrase in the title.

Since that time, O'Reilly has made a point to take cheap shots at Franken and Air America Radio, the radio network that hosts The Al Franken Show, whenever possible. He has claimed on numerous occasions that the network was running out of money, its ratings were dropping, etc. He has consistently downplayed the network's (and Franken's) popularity, often referring to them as "far left" and "hate-mongers".

O'Reilly's latest bid against Franken is an attempt to have him investigated by the FEC for possibly getting an advance on his salary sometime in the near future for a Senate bid that Franken hasn't even announced! This, in O'Reilly's distorted view qualifies as money laundering.

According to a Newshounds article, here is O'Reilly's argument:

The Democracy Alliance is MAYBE going to donate $8 million to keep Air America Radio on the air through the 2006 election. (O'Reilly used the words "is reportedly going to donate," clearly indicating that he has absolutely no idea whether or not such a donation is going to be made.)

Al Franken's salary is paid by Air America Radio.

Al Franken may or may not run for the Senate in Minnesota.

Al Franken "will borrow against his Air America salary to launch his Senate race" until he can pay it back from donations (a common practice used by many who wish to run for office).

Since Al Franken MIGHT POSSIBLY get a salary that MIGHT POSSIBLY come from funds donated by the "Democracy Alliance," then Al Franken MIGHT POSSIBLY be guilty of election fraud.

Therefore, outraged citizen that he is, O'Reilly stated that he is going to file a report on this with the Federal Election Commission.

The whole point of O'Reilly's argument is based on a reference an August 7th, 2005 Washington Post article that talks about the group's plans to donate $80 million "to fund a network of think tanks and advocacy groups to compete with the potent conservative infrastructure built up over the past three decades." But O'Reilly didn't get his information from the Post article. He got it from a Boston-based blogger named Brian Maloney, who dug up the article because, apparently, he's got a lot of free time on his hands and wants to be just like Bill when he grows up. (Sorry... No link to Maloney's site. It's not worth my time. If you want to see it that badn, Google the guy's name.)

Now, moving on the MSNBC's Keith Olbermann, O'Reilly has decided that he cares about MSNBC's rating. In fact, he cares so much that he's sponsoring a petition to get Olbermann replaced with the previous host, Phil Donahue. The petition, directed to NBC Chairman Robert Wright, reads as follows:

February 22, 2006
Chairman Robert Wright
National Broadcasting Company
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, New York 10112

Dear Chairman Wright:

We, the undersigned, are becoming increasingly concerned about the well-being of MSNBC and, in particular, note the continuing ratings failure of the program currently airing weeknights on that network at 8:00 PM EST.

It is now apparent to everyone that a grave injustice has been done to the previous host for that time slot, Phil Donahue, whose ratings, at the time of his show's cancellation three years ago, were demonstrably stronger than those of the current host.

Therefore, in an effort to rescue MSNBC from the ratings basement and to restore the honor and dignity of Mr. Donahue, who was ignobly removed as host three years ago, we ask that you immediately bring Phil Donahue's show back at 8:00 PM EST before any more damage is done.

Suddenly, O'Reilly is so concerned about the ratings at MSNBC? Why do you suppose that is? It couldn't be because Olbermann has ranked O'Reilly "Worst Person In The World" numerous times on his show, could it? Or maybe it's because Olbermann consistenly points out O'Reilly's line of bull? (Here's a good - not to mention funny - example of that, where Olbermann smacks down O'Reilly on numerous lies.)

This feud between O'Reilly and Olbermann has been going on since at least last year, and Olbermann's former co-worker, John Gibson (who worked at MSNBC before going to Fox, and Olbermann considered a friend at one time) has been right in there fighting alongside O'Reilly. (Gibson joined O'Reilly in the ridiculous "War On Christmas" campaign that, it turns out, was completely fabricated by Fox, according to a former producer from the network.)

And it just continues... Recently, New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof challenged O'Reilly to visit Darfur in Africa and see the continuing genocide, which O'Reilly had all but ignored. After Kristof suggested that O'Reilly wasting his time on his "War On Christmas", O'Reilly shot back, calling Kristof a "left-wing idealogue."

In a response from his column, Kristof issued the challenge to O'Reilly, who claimed he couldn't do it because he had a radio show and television show to do. Again in response, Kristof, showing the kind of initiative that a good reporter should, started a pledge drive to raise enough money for O'Reilly's trip, as well as a state-of-the-art satellite phone so O'Reilly could continue to do his show.

What started out as a half-joke has now garnered so much support that Kristof has raised $727,568 in pledges to send O'Reilly to Darfur. According to an article at the Editor&Publisher website, Kristof has been "deluged by 6,675 pledges, averaging a bit more than $100." With the amount of money pledges, Kristof says, "Mr. O'Reilly will be able to fly first class with the very best satellite phones and fill his water bottles with San Pelegrino." I assume that it also would cover a return ticket, although I am by no means insisting that there should be one.

O'Reilly's response was typically cowardly, attempting to change the subject. Kristof, he says, "couldn't care less if I travel to Darfur. He should direct his ire at the U.N."

The next obvious question is, who will O'Reilly piss of next?

Stay tuned.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Further Update: UAE To Delay Port Takeover

2006-02-24T11:27:00.000-05:00

The United Arab Emerites has agreed to put its takeover of six major American ports on hold so the White House can "convince skeptical lawmakers the deal poses no increased risks from terrorism," according to an Associated Press article. It did not, however, say how long it would wait for the discussion to happen before it does take control of the ports.

From the article:

"A simple cooling-off period will not allay our concerns," said Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y.

Sen. Robert Menendez, D-N.J., said the company's offer "isnt worth the paper on which it is written."

"If the Bush administration will not stop this deal from closing, Congress must." Menendez said.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., urged Bush to conduct a broader review of potential terrorism risks. Rep. Vito Fosella, a New York Republican, said the administration should more fully explain why it concluded the sale was safe.

In related news, I have two bits from CNN's Lou Dobbs. First, a clip from Dobbs' show about connections between the UAE and the Bush family.

From the transcript:
DOBBS: President Bush's family and members of the Bush administration have long-standing business connections with the United Arab Emirates, and those connections are raising new concerns and questions tonight in some quarters about why the president is defying his very own party leadership and his party in defending the Dubai port deal.

CHRISTINE ROMANS: The oil-rich United Arab Emirates is a major investor in The Carlyle Group, the private equity investment firm where President Bush's father once served as senior adviser and is a who's who of former high-level government officials. Just last year, Dubai International Capital, a government-backed buyout firm, invested in an $8 billion Carlyle fund.

Another family connection, the president's brother, Neil Bush, has reportedly received funding for his educational software company from the UAE investors. A call to his company was not returned.

Then there is the cabinet connection. Treasury Secretary John Snow was chairman of railroad company CSX. After he left the company for the White House, CSX sold its international port operations to Dubai Ports World for more than a billion dollars.

In Connecticut today, Snow told reporters he had no knowledge of that CSX sale. "I learned of this transaction probably the same way members of the Senate did, by reading about it in the newspapers."

Another administration connection, President Bush chose a Dubai Ports World executive to head the U.S. Maritime Administration. David Sanborn, the former director of Dubai Ports' European and Latin American operations, he was tapped just last month to lead the agency that oversees U.S. port operations.

In the second clip, Dobbs takes Dubya up on his challenge to anyone critical of the Dubai Ports World deal to come forward and explain why.

From the transcripts:

DOBBS: ...President Bush has put forth a challenge tonight that I simply can't ignore. The president yesterday said he wanted those who are critical and questioning of this port deal to "step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company."

Well, first of all, Mr. President, to equate any country to your principal partner in the coalition ignores that special relationship this country's enjoyed with the United Kingdom for decades and decades. This also is not just a British company and an Arab company, as I think you well know.

Peninsula and Oriental Steam Navigation is a British privately owned company. Dubai Ports World is a UAE government controlled and owned company. You see the difference, of course.

And furthermore, the money used to fund the 9/11 attacks, most of it, in fact, was sent to the hijackers through the UAE banking system. In fact, two of the hijackers were originally from the UAE.

The UAE stonewalled U.S. efforts to track al Qaeda bank accounts after 9/11. In addition, the Emirates does not recognize Israel as a sovereign state. And the UAE was a transfer point for shipments of nuclear technology to Iran, North Korea and Libya.

And if those aren't good enough reasons, I would just suggest I'm at a complete loss to offer what might be considered good reasons.

They sound like good enough reasons to me. And who knows? Maybe someone at DPW was watching CNN and saw the clip. The President, who found out about the deal on television, but also seems to me to be more of a Fox News guy, obviously didn't see it, as he is still pushing for the deal to be approved.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Port Deal Update: Terrorists Tied-In, Congress Complains, Bush Backpedals

2006-02-23T22:11:00.000-05:00

An AP article released today says that the 9/11 Commission's report "raised concers that UAE officials were directly associating with bin Laden as recently as 1999." The report also states that bin Laden visited a hunting camp used by the UAE in the Afghan desert.

According to the AP report, commission sources claimed that "Bin Laden regularly went from his adjacent camp to the larger camp where he visited the Emiratis ... National technical intelligence confirmed the location and description of the larger camp and showed the nearby presence of an official aircraft of the United Arab Emirates."

Alongside this, in a September 14th, 2001 report, Guardian Unlimited reported that investigators had not only connected some of the September 11th terrorists to the UAE, but also noted that one of the bombers of the U.S.S. Cole had received his orders from a co-conspirator based inside the UAE.

The UAE (United Arab Emerites) has made a $6.8 billion bid to purchase the company that handles six major U.S. ports. The White House initially said that there was no reason to hold up the deal. In an impromptu press conference aboard Air Force One on Tuesday, Dubya told the members of the press that were traveling with him that he fully believed that the deal should be allowed to go through. It was revealed shortly afterward that the President had not even heard about the deal until after his administration had approved the deal. That did not, however, keep him from insisting that everything was fine, and that there was no security risk - an issue of concern to numerous members of Congress who have contacted the White House about the port deal.

The latest news is that 11 House representatives from the House Judiciary Committee, led by Jon Conyers, Jr. (D-MI), sent a letter to Treasury Secretary John Snow, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales questioning whether or not the port deal with Dubai was legal.

The letter, signed by Representatives Conyers, Howard Berman (D-CA), Rick Boucher (D-VA), Jerrold Nadler (D-NY), Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX), Marty Meehan (D-MA), William Delahunt (D-MA), Robert Wexler (D-FL), Anthony D. Weiner (D-NY), Linda Sanchez (D-CA), Chris Van Hollen (D-MD), and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL), also puts forth several questions they would like answers to:

What is your legal authority for failing to conduct mandatory reviews even where security concerns could be implicated? Has this legal interpretation been reviewed and confirmed by anyone in the present Administration - either before or after the September 11, 2001 attacks?

Were memoranda or other materials prepared outlining this legal interpretation by anyone in the present Administration? If so, by whom? Please provide copies of such memoranda or other materials. Were any dissenting memoranda or other materials prepared? If so, by whom? Please provide copies of such memoranda or other materials.

Did the President review the decision to approve the DPW transaction? Did he delegate his mandatory authority to make these decisions to other individuals within the Administration? If so, when and to whom? Please provide a copy of any delegation materials.

How many foreign direct investment transactions have been approved by the Administration? How many of these have been subject to the mandatory 45-day review period required by the Byrd Amendment?

Question number 3 is an easy answer: No, he didn't review it. Scotty McClellan said as much in a press conference Wednesday. (Sorry... The only clip I could find concerning the press conference comes from The Daily Show. But that's okay, because it's funny, too!) According to McClellan, Dubya found out about the deal...after it had been approved...by watching the news.

In an attempt to convince everyone that the deal has to go through, the Pentagon today fell back on that old classic, "If it doesn't go through, the terrorists have won," according to a CNN article:

Deputy Defense Secretary Gordon England told the Senate Armed Services Committee that blocking the deal could ostracize one of the United States' few Arab allies.

"The terrorists want our nation to become distrustful," England said. "They want us to become paranoid and isolationist, and my view is we cannot allow this to happen. It needs to be just the opposite."

Meanwhile, Karl Rove, speaking today on Tony Snow's Fox News radio program, said the president is now considering delaying the deal, adding that the deal still isn't done in the United Kingdom.

From the article linked above:

"There are some hurdles, regulatory hurdles, that this still needs to go through on the British side as well that are going to be concluded next week," Rove said. "There's no requirement that it close immediately after that. But our interest is in making certain the members of Congress have full information about it, and that, we're convinced, will give them a level of comfort with this."

Quite a reversal from earlier in the week.

More as this story develops.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

My First Crack At A Political Cartoon

2006-02-23T17:14:00.000-05:00

Whaddaya think?

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Dubya's True Colors Show In Dubai Deal

2006-02-22T23:37:00.000-05:00

Today's post is pretty link-intensive, so please bear with me.

In a show of where his real interests lay, the President has threatened to veto any law passed by congress that would slow down or stop the sale of Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation, a British-run company that currently runs six U.S. seaports, to the state-owned Dubai Ports World of the United Arab Emerites.

Congress is in an uproar on both sides of the aisle, with the exception of White House lapdog Joe Lieberman (D-CT), who believes that the connection between the UAE and some of the 9/11 terrorists isn't enough to stop the deal (even though he signed a letter from himself and three other senators questioning this exact issue). Apparently, he also isn't concerned that Osama bin Laden was treated in Dubai in 2002, where he was visited by CIA agents, as well as members of the UAE Royal Family. Republicans have been surprisingly rabid in their opposition to this deal, even though they had worked hard to undermine Democrat-supported measures to increase port security in the past.

President Bush was not even aware of the deal until after it was already cleared by his administration. However, this didn't stop him from pushing it to a captive press corps traveling with him on Air Force One Monday. On a related note, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, at a press conference Tuesday, said he hadn't even heard of the deal until this past weekend, although he sits on the panel that is supposed to have unanimously approved this deal, which had been approved on January 17th.

One thing to consider: When Tom DeLay thinks your actions are questionable, it might be time to put it on hold and take a closer look at it. But Dubya has promised to veto any law that requires a halt to the deal. After five years, and having never used his veto power up to now, for this he's going to break out the Magic Pen? (Note: This is not, however, the first time he's threatened to use it. The first time he waved his veto pen around was when congress was looking at their anti-torture legislation. He balked. It passed.)

It really isn't that much of a problem if he does decide to veto, because Congress can override the veto and force the issue. But that's not the issue. The issue here is that the president - "I'm a uniter, not a divider"; "The security of Americans is our number one priority" - is giving America and its people the finger and passing a sweet deal to his buddies (and former business partners).

Alongside all of this, new information has been made available that there is a law that requires a 45-day hold on a deal when the company is run by a foreign government, as well as when it could affect national security. In this case, it should have happened for both reasons, although it didn't, and the White House cannot explain why. There is an Associated Press article that may shed some light on this, as it explains that the White House worked out a special deal with Dubai that would bypass this, as well as other requirements.

The state of New Jersey, which hosts one of the ports that would be taken over by Dubai, said it would file a suit to block the deal in State and Federal courts.

In a bid to get more people on their side, Dubai has hired former Senator and former Republican presidential nominee Bob Dole to lobby for them. They sure know how to get in touch with the people...

More on this as it develops further.

*****

Today's Bit of Funny: HuffingtonPost.com is hosting a monthly contest, called the Contageous Festival, to find the Internet's "next big viral success story." My favorite one this month is called "Jesusaur!!" Check it out. It's approved by the Kansas School Board!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Weekend Round-Up: Bring Da Noise, Bring Da Funk Edition

2006-02-19T23:12:00.000-05:00

It's been a few days, so let's take a look at what happened over the weekend.

Harry Whittington, the 78-year old lawyer from Texas that Vice President "Big Dick" Cheney shot in the face last Saturday, was released from Christus Spohn Memorial Hospital in Corpus Christi on Friday. Reading a prepared statement to the press, he apologized to the Vice President "for all he had to go through." (The Huffington Post helped Cheney release a musical tribute to Whittington. They also have a more lyrical statement from Whittington.) What the hell? Apparently, being in the way of the Vice President's birdshot when he's trying to shoot a bird is clearly an affront and worthy of an apology.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) apologized on Friday to 33 Republican senators whom he had singled out for ethics criticism in a report he released Thursday, entitled "Republican Abuse of Power." Again, what the hell? Shouldn't the people who violate ethical standards in the Senate be brought to the public's attention?

Representative Randall "Duke" Cunningham was sentenced to 10 years for accepting more than a few bribes. As the 35-page sentencing memorandum says, "Having admitted unparalleled corruption, defendant Randall H. Cunningham now comes before the Court to be sentenced for his stunning betrayal of the public trust."

Dubya lies a lot. No, really. A whole lot. Glenn Greenwald listened to a speech given a few days ago, and made a neat little list of propaganda and lies from the mouth of the Chimp-in-Chief himself.

Ann "Man Hands" Coulter, a favorite of my brother ("I think she's funny," he says), is looking at the possibility of five years in jail for voter fraud. Coulter, a far-right mouthpiece who is better known for being a bitter, spiteful skank than for actually knowing what she's talking about, registered to vote in the wrong precinct, willfully falsifying her voter registration, even after a poll worker tried to point out her error. Of course, I have no doubt that Ann will remain true-to-form and say it's some sort of Liberal witch hunt.

Former FEMA Director Michael Brown - as in "Brownie, you're doin' a heckuvva job" - told the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee on Friday that he was being used as a "scapegoat" by the government in the wake of its inadequte response to Hurricane Katrina.

In related news, Representative Thomas Davis (R-VA) suggested that FEMA should be made a Cabinet-level organization, stating that FEMA needs to be "at the right arm of the White House during any crisis." White House lapdog Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT), however, feels that the entire organization should be scrapped and rebuilt, but it should remain under the control of the Department of Homeland Security. In a rare change of policy, I'm siding with the Republican representative. Homeland Security was controlling FEMA when Katrina hit, and we saw how well that worked.

Dubai Ports World has been given permission to take over security at six major American ports after purchasing the company that originally handled port security, London-based Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Company. Dubai is a company from the United Arab Emerites and, according to a report from CNN.com, "[c]ritics have cited the UAE's history as an operational and financial base for the hijackers who carried out the attacks of September 11, 2001. In addition, they contend the UAE was an important transfer point for shipments of smuggled nuclear components sent to Iran, North Korea and Libya by a Pakistani scientist." And let us not forget the personal connection that Dubya and Poppy Bush have with the Saudi royal family. Apparently, cronyism doesn't stop with putting local buddies in cushy cabinet posts.

And now, to finish things off, a few funny bits.

Are you a grown adult who loves rap music but are just too darn embarrassed to walk into a music store and ask for the latest Snoop Dog CD? Do you get a lot of strange looks from the teenagers in the car next to you when you crank up your Sir Mix-A-Lot CD and "kick it old school"? Sure, who doesn't? But worry no more!

Thanks to the Gourds you can listen to "Gin and Juice" and still maintain the appearance of being a mature adult.

And courtesy of Jonathan Coulton, you can still bump to "Baby Got Back" without, frankly, looking like a complete ninny.

Who doesn't like good political satire?

"The House That Jack Bribed" is a great little piece from The Capitol Steps, a political comedy group, about the Abramoff Scandal.

Check out The Keyboard Kommandos over at Poor Man Institute. The newest episode is hilarious! Be sure to take a look at the past editions, as well.

You remember them from the 2004 election and their hilarious Flash cartoons, including "This Land Is My Land". Go check out the folks at JibJab.com for a few more laughs.

And a few other items, just for kicks...

For those of you who enjoy photojournalism, check out this stunning collection of photos documenting Saddam Hussein's thrilling "Rock, Paper, Scissors" battle during his trial! (Make sure to check out the sequel: "The Painting")

If you haven't heard of the "Star Wars Kid" video by now, you're no son of mine.

Everyone knows the "Roxbury Guys" (played by Chris Kattan and Will Farrell) from Saturday Night Live, right? Well, here's a nifty little page where you can see new versions of them, including Star Wars, Star Trek, Anime, Nintendo and Gigapet versions!

I do believe I've found the church for me. Check out the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, started by concerned citizen Bobby Henderson, who was trying to convince the Kansas School Board that teaching the theory of Intelligent Design was making a mockery of real science, and ended up inadvertently starting his own religion. The Church of FSM believes that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. It also believes that the gradual increase of the world's average temperature is directly related to the decrease in the number of pirates. (And they've even got scientific-looking charts to prove it!)

And, since you're checking out the Flying Spaghetti Monster, why not go look into some new headgear to wear to church.

And that just about wraps it up for the Weekend Round-Up. Coming up next time, 20 great dining room table centerpieces you can make out of discarded cigarette butts, dryer lint, and old tampon applicators!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Chicago To RNC: Thanks, But We're Going To Have To Pass...

2006-02-16T22:05:00.000-05:00

Of the 31 cities chosen to submit bids to the RNC for hosting their 2008 Republican National Convention, Chicago, Ill. Mayor Richard Daley said that they were going to pass, preferring to focus on a campaign to host the 2016 Olympic Games, according to spokeswoman Jackie Heard.

The RNC announced the 31 cities Wednesday, February 15th, in a news release that has been posted on their website.

According to the release, the other cities asked were Anaheim, Atlanta, Boston, Charlotte, Columbus, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Houston, Indianapolis, Los Angeles, Kansas City, Memphis, Miami, Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans, New York, Orlando, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Portland, Sacramento, San Antonio, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, St. Louis, and Tampa.

Chicago hosted the Democratic National Convention in 1996. The last time the city hosted the Republicans was in 1960, when then Vice President Richard Nixon got the nomination for president, only to lose to John F. Kennedy.

One cannot help but wonder whether Daley is not just concerned about the 2016 Olympics.

With the ongoing scandals connected to the White House administration (the NSA, Plamegate, misinformation that led to the war in Iraq, Katrina, etc.) and Republicans in Congress (Abramoff, Tom DeLay, Bill Frist, etc.), accepting the offer could be viewed as lining up with the political party whose overall control of the federal government has left the country with a majority of citizens feeling they have been pushed aside. Polls show that the president's current job rating has slipped back from the small "bump" he got after his State of the Union address. So, it's not inconceiveable that Daley, a Democrat, is essentially trying to keep his city's distance from the ongoing negativity surrounding the Republican party.

And really, who can blame the guy?

DCF

Oh, The Irony...

2006-02-16T16:29:00.000-05:00

Man Shot After Laughing At Vice President Cheney.

Guns don't shoot smart-asses. Smart-asses get shot by their girlfriends.

DCF

Cheney Comes Out Of Hiding; Everybody Laughs

2006-02-16T02:21:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to diffuse complaints about the handling of the hunting accident where he shot a 78-year old man in the face over the weekend, Vice President Big Dick Cheney came out of his hole - a hidden bunker somewhere deep below Wyoming - and made his first public appearance since the incident.

Deciding to forego a situation where he might have to answer legitimate questions asked by an impartial press pool, Cheney did not hold a press conference at the White House, as many believed he would. Instead, he went to Fox News and answered softball questions lobbed at him by Brit Hume. (A transcript of the entire interview can be read here, courtesy of RawStory.com. A Windows Media file of the interview can be viewed here, courtesy of CrooksAndLiars.com.)

Among the hard-hitting questions asked by Hume:

Q Mr. Vice President, how is Mr. Whittington?

Q How did you feel when you heard about [the heart attack Whittington suffered due to a pellet that had entered his body near his heart]?

Q How long have you known him?

Q What was he wearing?

Q And you -- and I take it, you missed the bird.

Tough questions, to be sure. But then Hume got down to grilling Cheney about the slow release of information after the shooting.

Q Well, what -- you must have recognized, though, with all your experience in Washington, that this was going to be a big story.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Well, true, it was unprecedented. I've been in the business for a long time and never seen a situation quite like this. We've had experiences where the President has been shot; we've never had a situation where the Vice President shot somebody.

Q Not since Aaron Burr.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Not since Aaron Burr --

Q Different circumstances.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Different circumstances.

Q Well, did it occur to you that sooner was -- I mean, the one thing that we've all kind of learned over the last several decades is that if something like this happens, as a rule sooner is better.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Well, if it's accurate. If it's accurate. And this is a complicated story.

A "complicated story"? What's so complicated about it? You shot a 78-year old man in the face because you apparently thought he was a quail.

The Vice President, however, had a more detailed explanation as to why he believed the story had to hold.

Q But there were some things you knew. I mean, you knew the man had been shot, you knew he was injured, you knew he was in the hospital, and you knew you'd shot him.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Correct.

Q And you knew certainly by sometime that evening that the relevant members of his family had been called. I realize you didn't know the outcome, and you could argue that you don't know the outcome today, really, finally.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: As we saw, if we'd put out a report Saturday night on what we heard then -- one report came in that said, superficial injuries. If we'd gone with a statement at that point, we'd have been wrong. And it was also important, I thought, to get the story out as accurately as possible, and this is a complicated story that, frankly, most reporters would never have dealt with before, so --

Hume interrupted his answer to ask about whether he had spoken to the White House up to that point about what had happened. Cheney said he had not.

Scrolling back through the transcript, I also came upon this item:

Q Was anybody drinking in this party?

THE VICE PRESIDENT: No. You don't hunt with people who drink. That's not a good idea. We had --

Q So he wasn't, and you weren't?

THE VICE PRESIDENT: Correct. We'd taken a break at lunch -- go down under an old -- ancient oak tree there on the place, and have a barbecue. I had a beer at lunch. After lunch we take a break, go back to ranch headquarters. Then we took about an hour-long tour of ranch, with a ranch hand driving the vehicle, looking at game. We didn't go back into the field to hunt quail until about, oh, sometime after 3:00 p.m. (My emphasis.)

Wait a minute. You were not drinking in your initial response, but then, in your follow-up, you say you had a beer at lunch. What's wrong here? Admittedly, one beer probably isn't enough to send even Dick Cheney off on a drunken rampage, shooting innocent bystanders. But something here just doesn't ring true... Perhaps it's because of this quote from Katherine Armstrong, as originally reported on MSNBC yesterday:

Armstrong also told NBC News that she does not believe alcohol was involved in the accident. She says she believes no one that day was drinking, although she says there may have been beer available during a picnic lunch that preceded the incident. “There may be a beer or two in there,” she said, “but remember not everyone in the party was shooting.”

The above paragraph was removed from the MSNBC website later in the day, with nothing in its place. (A screenshot of the original posting can be seen here, at Crooks And Liars.) Today, it was replaced with a minor addition:

In a recorded, on-the-record phone call with NBC News, Armstrong said that beer may have been available at lunch that day. "If someone wants to help themselves to a beer," she said, "they may, but I did not see anyone do that," Armstrong says. She says she was not sure if there were beers in the coolers but wasn't ready to rule it out: "There may be a beer or two in there, but remember not everyone in the party was shooting," she told NBC News.

And, of course, there are still the questions about how close Cheney was standing to Whittington when he shot him. Cheney stands by his statement of "about 30 yards," but some people, including many avid hunters, have pointed out that the spread of the pellets would have been much further apart than they are.

Also, a new article published on the Washington Post's website quotes Kenedy County Sheriff Ramon Salinas III and Chief Deputy Gilbert San Miguel Jr. as saying Whittington "had been standing in the bed of a dried pond, several feet downhill from where Cheney and another hunter, Pamela Pitzer Willeford, the U.S. ambassador to Switzerland and Liechtenstein, were standing as they were shooting quail."

So, to summarize: Dick Cheney had been drinking, was more than likely standing closer than 30 yards away from Whittington, and he doesn't regret handling it the way he did. Way to win over the people, Dick.

*****

In related news, I was listening to Randi Rhodes this afternoon, and she brought up a good point about all of this stuff. Where are gun advocate (and self-proclaimed "Motor City Madman") Ted Nugent and the NRA? Nugent, who is usually so vocal about his right to carry arms and shoot animals with them, has been strangely silent over these matters. (In fairness to Nugent, although I don't hunt, I respect the fact that he eats what he shoots. He's not one of those "sport" hunters, a breed of person I despise.)

As for the NRA, they apparently have decided to pretend that the whole thing hasn't happened. here's a listing of the "Headlines" from their website, from Staruday to today:

NRA Collegiate Pistol Championships Set for Fort Benning, Georgia - 2/16/2006

Dowagiac, MI Police Department Wins Eddie Eagle GunSafe^® Program Mascot Costume - 2/14/2006

Exclusive Avis Benefits for NRA Members: Rent 5 days and get a free 2-day weekend rental - 2/14/2006

Olympic Biathlon Coverage - 2/11/2006

Apparently, both Nugent and the NRA want to distance themselves as far away as possible from the Vice President.

*****

I was over at Newshounds yesterday and spotted a post by Bronxboy, another member of the site, pointing out a blog by Representative Stacey Campfield (R-TN) with the following post:

Dead eye Dick Cheney

Our VP is now clearly pro gun and anti lawyer .I say not a bad start.

I am taking up a collection to send a few democrats off on a hunting trip...

I hear some of them are saving up to give me a personal driving lesson.... from Ted Kennedy.

posted by TheRep @ 8:03 PM

Shortly after I left a comment pointing out the tastelessness of the post - not so much the jab at Cheney as the cheap shot at Senator Kennedy (over something that happened 40 years ago, no less!) - Campfield added this to his post:

UPDATE: You can stop the hate spam to me I was quoting Democrat Jere Hargrove from the house floor yesterday. If you want you can send him an E mail. Any one? Any one at all????

Well, yes, actually. I contacted Representative Hargrove's office via e-mail as soon as I saw this addition Wednesday morning. When I got home around 5:00, I found a response from his office in my e-mail box.

Hello Mr. Springer,
Thanks for your email. Rep. Hargrove would like to speak with you personally to clear up several misunderstandings at this blog...could you give us your phone number? Thanks!

Sincerely,
Pamela Laub, CPS
Executive Assistant,
Representative Jere Hargrove

I thought it was rather nice of them to get back to me so quickly, as well as offering me an opportunity to speak to Representative Hargrove himself. I haven't spoken to him yet, but when he calls, I will certainly post what he had to say.

*****

Now, as I said, I wasn't too offended or irritated by the poke at Cheney. Right now, he's fair game, as far as I'm concerned. Apparently, the late night TV shows feel the same way. Here are just a few sample clips from the vast ocean of Cheney jokes:

Crooks and Liars has a bunch of good ones. First up, Jon Stewart discusses his bland weekend...UNTIL!

Bill Maher talks to Chris Mathews about Cheney and the way the story was broken.

Once more from The Daily Show, Jon Stewart talks about the press conference on Tuesday.

From Scarborough Country on MSNBC, Tucker Carlson manages to be funny without even trying.

After it was announced that Cheney would do an interview with Fox, CNN's Jack Cafferty had some words about that.

Finally, David Letterman had an absolutely hilarious piece about Dick Cheney's first press conference since the shooting.

There are plenty more, but these are, in my opinion, among the best.

Anyway, that about wraps it up for this one. Coming up tomorrow: How Ann "The Man" Coulter might be facing a $5000 fine and up to 5 years in prison!

Stay tuned!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Cheney Shooting Victim Suffers Mild Heart Attack; White House and Jeb Bush Make Jokes

2006-02-14T23:49:00.000-05:00

Harry Whittington, 78, who was accidentally shot by Vice President Big Dick Cheney on Saturday, suffered a mild heart attack after a pellet from the bird shot that had entered his body migrated into his heart, according to numerous news sources, causing arterial fibrillation. A cardiac catheterization was performed at around 10:00 AM this morning, and Mr. Whittington is believed to be in stable condition.

Meanwhile, at the noon White House press conference on Tuesday, Press Secretary Scotty McClellan, who had been informed of Whittington's heart attack, told the press there was nothing new to report from the previous day. He also made a point to mention his bright orange tie (scroll to the bottom of the article in the link), as well as the colors worn by the White House's guests, the University of Texas Longhorns, telling the press pool that "[t]he orange that they're wearing is not because they're concerned that the vice president may be there. That's why I'm wearing it."

The press conference then turned ugly for the second day in a row when McClellan refused to clarify his answers from the day before:

MR. MCCLELLAN: Again, that's what I've -- I indicated to you yesterday what our views were, and we went through this --

Q I don't recall you sharing the president's view.

MR. MCCLELLAN: Yeah. But can I finish responding? I am glad to answer your questions. I was very respectful --

Q You didn't answer that question --

MR. MCCLELLAN: I was very respectful and responsive to you all --

Q The vice president basically decided on his own to not disclose this, which is at odds with how you do business and how the president does business. Right?

MR. MCCLELLAN: I don't want to make this about anything other than what it is. It is what it is, David. I was very respectful and responsive to your questions yesterday. I provided you the information I knew, based on the facts that were available.

Q (Off mike) -- haven't answered --

MR. MCCLELLAN: And we've been through this pretty thoroughly and I'm just not --

Q Just one final question.

MR. MCCLELLAN: Wait! Wait! I'm just not going to go back through it again. I'd appreciate if you'd let me respond fully before you jump in.

Q All right. But hold on a second, I've got one last question --

MR. MCCLELLAN: Well --

Q Now wait a second!

MR. MCCLELLAN: -- other people in this room have questions and we've got an event coming up.

Meanwhile, in Florida, Governor Jeb Bush, the President's brother, "slapped an orange sticker on his chest from the Florida Farm Bureau that read, 'No Farmers, No Food,' and referred to the shooting," according to the same New Your Times article linked above. Governor Bush then said, "I'm a little concerned that Dick Cheney is going to walk in."

While many are wondering why Cheney and the White House took so long to inform the national press about the shooting, as well as why they held off the information about Whittington's heart attack, various bloggers are wondering about more sinister items that appear to have occurred.

For instance, blogger Taylor Marsh noted that the Austin American-Statesman changed its story that Whittington had initially been hit by 200 pellets of birdshot to say that he had only been hit by 100. This may seem like no big deal, but Marsh thinks it is part of the White House's new story line. ReddHedd over at firedoglake went even further, questioning the entire story from Cheney and Katherine Armstrong, the owner of the ranch.

And it's not just the bloggers. Whittington's friends are starting to ask questions, according to Slate.com writer:

The official story is that the blast from the vice president's shotgun hit Whittington at a distance of 30 yards. Hunters at the Vaughn Building [the headquarters of Harry Whittington] are skeptical. The hunt took place on a cold, windy afternoon. Whittington and his fellow hunters were probably wearing warm clothing—say, a jacket and a flannel shirt. Cheney was using a 28-gauge shotgun, a smaller-diameter firearm with pellets smaller than BBs. Whittington's friends question whether the pellets could have penetrated his layers of clothing and skin at that range. Yet two pellets lodged against his larynx, another was in his liver, and another migrated into the heart muscle, causing the heart attack. The pattern of wounds was between the lower chest and the forehead, a pretty tight zone for shot of 30 yards. If the range was considerably less than 30 yards, then it is likely that Whittington's injuries were worse than the initial statement by Katherine Armstrong indicated. (The blast "knocked him silly," but "he was fine.")

So many questions. And with each "answer" the White House provides, they only cause more questions to arise.

More on this as it developes.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet... I'm Hunting Wawyers...

2006-02-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

*****UPDATED ITEM: Play the Dick Cheney Quail Hunting Game*****

Thanks to Dee at Newshounds for the link!

Saturday, while on a quail hunting trip in Corpus Christi, Texas, Vice President "Big Dick" Cheney shot one of his fellow hunters, a lawyer named Harry Whittington, 78.

Cheney was out hunting with Whittington and another unidentified man when a covey of quail took flight. Whittington shot one of the birds and had gone to retrieve it.

While Whittington was behind the other two hunters, another covey took flight, Cheney followed one with his gun, and fired, hitting Whittington in the face, neck and chest. This is NOT how it's supposed to work.

Let me say that one more time: Cheney, who had a valid non-resident hunting license but not an "upland game bird stamp," shot Whittington, who was wearing a blaze orange cap and vest and was outside of the hunting line, according to the report submitted to the Texas Parks and Wildlife by the Kenedy County sheriff's department.

Hey, what do you want from a guy who got five deferments from the draft?

Cheney's medical team, which apparently follows him wherever he goes, rushed to help Whittington, treating the wounds and getting him to a hospital.

Meanwhile, the owner of the ranch, Katherine Armstrong, contacted the Corpus Christi Caller-Times about the incident, according to White House spokesmonkey Scott McClellan. (More on this in a moment.) Afterwards, Armstrong spoke to Cheney, telling him that she thought it would be a major story by Sunday, and she felt comfortable going to a local paper about it. “And he said ‘you go ahead and do whatever you are comfortable doing,’ ” according to Armstrong.

The White House was informed of a hunting accident at around 7:00 PM Saturday night, according to McClellan, but did not alert the press corps immediately. Or even later that evening. In fact, he didn't let the press corps know until about 22 hours later. This led to a bit of hostility in the White House press room, and while McClellan tried to bob and weave, going back over and over to the lame explanation that they "wanted to make sure Whittington was getting the proper medical care" and were "waiting for all of the information to come in" so they could clarify what was going on, it was a bit like watching that Urkel guy trying to box with Mike Tyson. A straight-ahead question would be asked, such as, "Scott, why did it take almost 24 hours for you to tell us about this?" And then McClellan would either refer them to the Vice President's press office or try to lay the blame on Armstrong, saying that the press office had decided to let her handle going to the press.

The Vice President's press office did, however, confirm the incident to any journalists who contacted them for information. However, it appears from the transcript of the press conference that they were not forthcoming as to why it took 22 hours to say anything, let alone contact the press themselves.

Now, a lot of this story is pretty questionable. First, why did Cheney go outside of the hunting area? And even more importantly, why didn't he recognize the BRIGHT ORANGE that Whittington was wearing? I've never seen any bright orange quail before.

Moving on, why exactly did the Vice President's press office not release some sort of information, rather than just letting a local Corpus Christi paper carry the story? And why can nobody int he White House offer any realistic explanation as to why it took so long for anyone to say anything about the incident?

Before everyone starts insisting that I'm some kind of conspiracy theorist, let me state for the record that I do not believe for one second that Cheney actually meant to shoot Whittington. If for no other reason than because Cheney doesn't have the testicular fortitude to do something like that himself. If he really wanted to have Whittington shot, he'd have had some goons do it. That's more his style.

As to why it took so long for the White House to issue some kind of statement or hold a press conference, I think it's because, in light of all the problems that the administration is having right now, the last thing they needed was for word to get out that the Vice President had gone out and shot some guy, accidental or not.

Of course, I also believe that if it had got out earlier, Fox would probably have all of their hosts shouting about how Whittington had accosted Cheney and it was self-defense. And, of course, Bill O'Reilly would claim that Whittington was a far-left radical who was trying to overthrow the government.

I think the White House and Cheney need to present a more realistic answer to why it took so long. Making sure Whittington got proper medical care is all well and good, but they were in Corpus Christi. This isn't the middle of the Sahara, for crying out loud. They have hospitals and doctors right in the city! And I'd be willing to bet that it wasn't almost a full day away from the ranch where all of this happened.

Of course, dodging questions and not telling the truth is par for the course with this administration, so I can't imagine why I'm surprised.

(Incidentally, while the whole thing has been written off by the sheriff's department as "no more than a hunting accident," thereby letting Big Dick off the hook, he did get a citation for not having the proper bird stamp for his license. No word on whether Dubya will issue a pardon for him.)

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

(Author's Note: The photos in this post are screenshots lifted from an absolutely hilarious Flash cartoon about Cheney's duck hunting expedition with Supreme Court Judge Scalia. The cartoon can be viewed in its entirety at http://www.justiceisduckblind.com.)

Dirty Reid, Done Dirt Cheap?

2006-02-10T23:30:00.000-05:00

In an Associated Press article released February 9th, staff reporters John Solomon and Sharon Theimer reported a pair of incidents that linked Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

The first incident was Reid's opposition to approval of a new casino here in Michigan that would have put it in direct competition with one owned by Indian clients of Abramoff. What the article failed to point out, according to an article on the Media Matters website, was that "Reid said at the time that he opposed the legislation because it would create a "very dangerous precedent" for the spread of off-reservation gambling -- something Reid had opposed for nearly a decade."

The second incident, which sounds much more ominous in the article, concerns legislation intended to raise the minimum wage in the United States, and would have affected the Northern Mariana Islands, a U.S. territory that Abramoff represented. The article suggested that Reid worked with Abramoff to shoot down the legislation. However, according to Media Matters, "Reid was a co-sponsor of that legislation and spoke on the Senate floor in favor of its passage."

While both of these incidents have been highly publicized just about everywhere in the media, none appear to have mentioned that Reid's actions showed no proof that Reid did anything for Abramoff's clients.

Billing records from Abramoff's firm show that members of his staff met with Reid's staff on at least twenty different occasions in 2001 alone. A former colleague of Abramoff's, Ronald Platt, told the Associated Press that his contact with Reid's staff was "incidental, insofar as I simply bumped into Reid staffers at Democratic Party functions or occurred incidental to discussions regarding my clients, not Abramoff's." He added, "Any contacts that I may have had in regards to Abramoff's tribal clients would have been similarly incidental."

Moving to the other side of the aisle, the new House Majority Leader, John Boehner (R-OH) is renting an apartment from a Washington lobbyist with ties to legislation that Boehner has worked on in the past. The basement apartment, according to a Washington Post article, is owned by lobbyist John D. Milne, whose clients include restaurant chains and insurance companies - groups that are directly related to matters that Boehner works on in the House of Representative. Conflict of interest?

Not so, says Boehner spokesperson Don Seymour, who described the apartment, which Boehner pays $1600 per month, as a modest two-bedroom basement dwelling. A review of listings in the area show that the cost is close to that of similar apartments.

The question here, unlike the situation with Reid, is how much is too much? Boehner has already been criticized by both parties for handing out checks on the House floor from Big Tobacco lobbyists. As the person who is supposed to bring a bit of dignity back to his party after the DeLay and Abramoff scandals, he's not exactly working overtime to distance himself from the lobbyists.

All the best,
DCF

Dick in the Dirt

2006-02-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

A report released today, February 9th, by the National Journal website says that I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, currently under indictment for lying to a grand jury involved in the investigation of the Valerie Plame leak, told the grand jury that he had been authorized by Vice President "Big Dick" Cheney to leak Plame's identity and other classified information to the press in the summer of 2003.

According to correspondence recently filed by Special prosecutor Patrick J. Fitzgerald, Libby was also authorized by "White House superiors" to leak parts of the National Intelligence Estimate, then still considered classified, regarding Saddam Hussein's supposed efforts to develop nuclear weapons.

Libby has made it clear that he intends to offer a "broad defense" in which he was encouraged and authorized by Cheney and other administration officials, according to unnamed sources with "firsthand knowledge" of this matter, to help build support for the Iraq war during the summer of 2003.

In testimony to the grand jury, Libby also said he was authorized to leak parts of the NIE report to help back up the administration in the face of claims by former ambassador Joseph Wilson that Iraq had never attempted to obtain yellow cake uranium (which is used to build nuclear weapons) from Niger, as Bush himself claimed during his 2003 State of the Union speech. The now infamous 16 words, "The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa," have continued to be a serious problem for the Bush Administration as support for the war drops further and further in public opinion polls.

In my own personal opinion, I'm not the least bit surprised to learn that Cheney may be involved in this. The guy is untrustworthy, right down to the cold, black lump of rock that constitutes his "heart". He was the one who kept pushing the whole "weapons of mass destruction" thing, even after it had already been shown to be false.

I really hope this clown goes down with the ship, along with Dubya and the rest of the crew. Especially Karl Rove. Maybe he and Cheney can share a cell together...

Fade In

A Prison Cell at a Federal Penitentiary

Rove: Hold me, Mr. Cheney! There's a guy in an orange jumpsuit who wants to make me his wife!

Cheney: Go f&%$ yourself, Karl... I've got to find my nitro pills... Chest...tightening...

Bush: Hey, can you fellas quiet down over there? Ah'm tryin' to get some sleep. It's hard work. It's very hard...

Cheney and Rove: SHUT UP!

Meanwhile, in Another Cell...

"The Butcher": You got a purty mouth... What was that I heard them other guys call you?

Libby: Er...(*whimper*)..They call me, uh..."Scooter"...

"The Butcher": When I'm done with ya, yer gonna be scootin' all right...

Fade Out to the Sound of a High-Pitched Scream

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Still Not Worried?

2006-02-05T19:25:00.000-05:00

For those of you who read my post with the quote from Hermann Goering and rolled your eyes, I've got something else for you to check out. Check out this article from Capitol Hill Blue, the oldest political site on the internet, which states:

"President George W. Bush has signed executive orders giving him sole authority to impose martial law, suspend habeas corpus and ignore the Posse Comitatus Act that prohibits deployment of U.S. troops on American streets. This would give him absolute dictatorial power over the government with no checks and balances."

Now, taking this alone is disturbing enough as it is. But combining it with the similarities between Dubya's actions and those of Nazi Germany, it flat-out terrifying.

According to the article, for those of you who are just too darn lethargic to actually click the above link, Dubya has already considered using these "national security initiatives" put in place by Ronald Reagan in 1984. He first considered using them shortly after the September 11th, 2001 attacks to declare martial law. He actually acted on some of these initiatives after Hurricane Katrina, using the military to act as "police reinforcement", as well as hiring mercenaries from a company called Blackwater USA to "enforce security."

The initiatives were originally "hatched," the article says, "...by controversial Marine Corps Colonel Oliver North, later one of the key players in the Iran-Contra Scandal." John Brinkerhoff, deputy director of FEMA, developed the martial law implementation plan based on a plan put together by former FEMA director Louis Guiffrida that was designed to stop a "national uprising of militant blacks" after riots broke out across the country in the late 60's, the turning point being the 1968 Detroit Riots. the plan called for jailing of at least 21 million African Americans in "relocation camps".

This is the plan that was reworked for Reagan and first acted upon, in part, by George W. Bush.

If you're not worried, you haven't been paying attention.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Uh-oh... Another One of the Bush Boys In Trouble?

2006-02-04T19:46:00.000-05:00

First it was Neil, who got buried in the S&L scandal during the 80's.

Then it was Dubya, who was being beaten down over the false statements that led the U.S. into a war with Iraq. The second phase of a congressional investigation into this has been delayed over and over again by congressional Republicans.

Next, it was Dubya again, whose staff appeared to be involved in outing a CIA operative in an attempt to smear her spouse. One indictment has already been made. More may be coming. Stay tuned on this one.

Once more, Dubya was the problem child, being accused of ineptitude and cronyism for putting Michael Brown into a position as the Director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, whose qualifications spoke for themselves. He had previously been raising horses. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Dubya continued to put his foot firmly in his mouth by telling him, "Brownie, you're doin' a heck of a job" as thousands of people stood outside the Superdome in New Orleans, surrounded by flood waters, dead bodies, and human filth. The one thing that they didn't have plenty of in New Orleans was food and drinkable water. A heck of a job, indeed.

Again, Dubya's misfortune hit the spotlight when it was leaked to the press that he had been allowing the NSA to conduct wiretaps without getting warrants from the FISA (Foreign Intelligence surveillance Act) court, contravening a 1978 law that required obtaining warrants within 72 hours after the wiretaps were started. In an attempt to clear his name, Dubya came forward and admitted to it, and then insisted that there was nothing illegal about his activities. He also launched an investigation - not into the legality of his actions, though. Instead, he launched an investigation into finding out where the press had gotten the information about his illegal wiretapping program.

In the latest edition of Dubya's "Operation: Bungle", new documents have come to light concerning his actions and proposed plans in the lead-up to the war in Iraq. These plans included painting an unmanned spy plane to look like a U.N. plane in an attempt to get Saddam to fire on it, thereby justifying the invasion.

However... Lest we forget, there is...Another.

Some of you may recall Jeb. He's the governor of Florida. You do remember Florida, don't you? If not, think back to about, oh, six years or so, in November of 2000. Still nothing? What about Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris? I bet it's starting to sound familiar now. Here are a few more hints: voter fraud, voter intimidation, incorrectly scrubbed voter rolls. If you can't figure it out on your own by now, you'll just have to look it up.

Anyway, Jeb is in the news again, this time with a possible connection to that Republican favorite, convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

According to an article in the (Rockford, Illinois) Rock River Times, Jeb has ordered the shredding of documents and public records, bringing in a team from Texas to replace key members of his Tallahassee staff and oversee the shredding of the documents.

A source at the FBI confirmed that the records were being destroyed, and added that it might be in response to the ongoing probe into Abramoff's activities, as well as a federal investigation of a 2001 gangland-style murder in Miami of a casino boat owner.

Recently, while reading Al Franken's book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, I saw a short description of the time Franken met Barbara Bush on an airplane. During their brief conversation, Mrs. Bush told Franken that she was proud of all of her sons. (I have heard no mention of Melvin, who appears to be the Steven Baldwin of the Bush family.) Apparently, she is also very proud of her daughter, Dorothy, who has yet to be indicted for anything as of yet.

Stay tuned to see who will be the next Bush spawn to be connected with some sort of illegal activities!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

(Author's Note: There was also a second Bush daughter, Robin, who passed away at the age of three from leukemia in 1953. Since I spent a good part of this article - pretty much all of it, really - making fun of the Bush brothers, I thought it would be in poor taste to mention this in the article and I didn't want anyone to think I was making light of her death.)

Time For A Pop Quiz!

2006-02-01T20:39:00.000-05:00

I was over at Newshounds, reading about the Cindy Sheehan arrest - by the way, the Capitol Police want to drop the charges (more on this later) - and I ran across this quote:

"But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.”

Sound familiar at all?

More importantly, who do you think said that? (Answer at the bottom of this post.)

Concerning the arrest of Sheehan, a war protester whose son, Casey, was killed in Iraq: Sheehan was invited by a California congresswoman and arrived at the House, where she was directed to her seat by a Capitol Policeman. As she was sitting down and taking off her coat (she only had her left arm out of its sleeve), the same person who seated her came running down the steps, grabbed her arms and put them behind her, and rushed her back up the stairs and out of the chamber. She was handcuffed in the hall. She did not say a word, other than to ask the policeman why he was being so rough.

Why did this happen? Because of the t-shirt she was wearing, which said "2245 Dead. How many more?". See, there are supposedly no protests allowed in the chamber during the State of the Union speech. During a similar incident at one of former president Clinton's SOTU speeches, a guy named Dave Delp was removed from the chamber for wearing a shirt that said "Clinton doesn't inhale. He sucks." The difference, however, is that Delp wasn't arrested.

Another person who wasn't arrested was Beverly Young, the wife of Representative C.W. Bill Young (R-FL). Mrs. Young was asked to leave the chamber for wearing a shirt that said "Support the Troops -- Defending Our Freedom."

Unlike Cindy Sheehan, Mrs. Young did cause a fuss, but she was not arrested or handcuffed or charged. Mrs. Young asked Capitol Police why she had to leave the chamber and was told that there were no protests allowed.

“They said I was protesting,” Young told the St. Petersburg Times. “I said, ‘Read my shirt, it is not a protest.’ They said, ‘We consider that a protest.’ I said, ‘Then you are an idiot.”’

Representative Young this morning made a speech on the floor of the House, holding up his wife's shirt, apparently milking his fellow representatives for some sympathy. While this probably didn't get him any sympathy, it did draw attention to the fact that Mrs. Sheehan's shirt could hardly be called a "protest", and now the Capitol Police are scrambling to get the message out that they've dropped the charges against her. As well, apologies have been issued from the Capitol to Mrs. Young and Mrs. Sheehan.

Now, back to the pop quiz at the beginning of this article. Once more, here's the quote:

"But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.”

Did you figure it out? If not, here's the answer for you:

It was Hermann Goering, President of the Reichstag, Nazi Party.

Think about it.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

Thanks, Folks!

2006-01-31T22:21:00.000-05:00

Well, this was fun. I want to thank Jeff and Bobbie for stopping by and commenting, as well as anyone else who hung out to read while listening.

Wait till the November congressional elections... That'll be a fun one...

See ya later!

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

And that's all folks...

2006-01-31T22:03:00.000-05:00

This post is the one to discuss everything you heard tonight. I'll be there in a second...

DCF

Zell Miller: Not A Fan Of AIDS Legislation

2006-01-31T21:58:00.000-05:00

They just panned the crowd after Dubya's comments about getting more medication quicker for AIDS patients, and the camera landed on Zell Miller, a supposed Democrat who challenged a network reporter to a duel during the Republican National Convention.

Zell doesn't look to happy about that...

DCF

Human Life...Should Not Be Put Up For Sale

2006-01-31T21:56:00.000-05:00

You just know that Clarence Thomas is wondering whether that includes the $50 he got for donating at all the sperm banks around D.C.

DCF

Our Children...Who Need Direction In Love..."

2006-01-31T21:54:00.000-05:00

Well, let's see. In Red States, where only abstinence is taught, the teen birth average is higher than those of Blue States, where sex education actually happens. Which do you choose?

DCF

The Abortion Thing...

2006-01-31T21:53:00.000-05:00

I don't really want to get into this issue, because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Let me just go on record as saying that a woman's body is exactly that. I have no say over it.

DCF

YOUR WORDS 2

2006-01-31T21:52:00.000-05:00

ThatBobbieGirl says:

NEW-KLEE-UR
NEW-KLEE-UR
NEW-KLEE-UR
NEW-KLEE-UR

Not NUKE YUH LUR

DCF

"Make Our Dependence On Middle Eastern Oil A Thing Of The Past..."

2006-01-31T21:49:00.000-05:00

...so, until we get around to that whole "clean energy sources' thing going, we're gonna drill in ANWR. Gotta do it... If you're against ANWR drillin', you're with the "terrists"...

DCF

Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted To Oil...

2006-01-31T21:47:00.000-05:00

I can quit any time I want to... I swear it...

DCF

Hold On...Here Comes The Medical Insurance Account B.S.

2006-01-31T21:46:00.000-05:00

I wonder who he keeps leering at when he looks over at the Dem side of the room...

DCF

Wait A Minute...

2006-01-31T21:44:00.000-05:00

A few minutes ago, Dubya was going on and on about how America needs immigrants to help keep us going, but now he wants to tighten up the border?

DCF

Finally, A Standing 'O' From The Dems!

2006-01-31T21:42:00.000-05:00

Dubya finally got 'em to cheer by saying "Congress didn't act on my social security reform..."

Whaddaya suppose that was about? Could it be that they though his reform plan was complete and utter B.S.? That's where my money is...

DCF

"Two Of My Dad's Favorite People"

2006-01-31T21:41:00.000-05:00

Senator Clinton didn't look too amused by the Clinton joke...

DCF

The Dems Don't Look Too Pleased

2006-01-31T21:40:00.000-05:00

And he just keeps smirking away at them... I'd love to see someone just slap that smirk off his face...

DCF

"Make The Tax Cuts Permanent..."

2006-01-31T21:38:00.000-05:00

...because all those rich white guys need a third home...

DCF

4.6 Million New Jobs...

2006-01-31T21:35:00.000-05:00

And how many of those match the jobs that have been lost? What's the average wage for the new ones compared to the old ones that were lost by allowing corporations to move their business to foreign countries?

DCF

"Appropriate Members of Congress"?

2006-01-31T21:34:00.000-05:00

I wonder who he meant by that. Certainly not Seantor Clinton, who is looking pretty amused by these comments...

DCF

Did I Just Hear Some Boos?

2006-01-31T21:32:00.000-05:00

The folks on the Democratic side of the House certainly didn't jump out of their seats to applaud the Patriot Act thing, did they?

DCF

Poverty, Corruption, Despair...

2006-01-31T21:31:00.000-05:00

Hey, I know where some of that is, and it's WAY easier to get to than some country across the Atlantic!

DCF

"A Free And Democratic Iran..."

2006-01-31T21:30:00.000-05:00

Loosely translated, that means "watch your butts, Iran... We're eyeballin' y'all already..."

DCF

Workin' the Crowd!

2006-01-31T21:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, evil Iran...

Who was it that sold them arms to fund an illegal, undeclared war in Nicaragua?

Oh! Wait! That was us, wasn't it? Just like we supplied Saddam with the gas he used on the Kurds?

DCF

Accountable Institutions?!?

2006-01-31T21:27:00.000-05:00

What does this monkey-boy know about accountability?

DCF

Scanning The Crowd...

2006-01-31T21:26:00.000-05:00

I note that Samuel Alito and his wife are in the crowd. Who was that person standing next to her? Daughter? Au pair? British nanny?

DCF

YOUR WORDS

2006-01-31T21:24:00.000-05:00

I just got this e-mail from Jeff (see his blog link on the right). Here's what he says:

"the United States will continue to lead..."

Leading the world in debt,
poverty,
job loss,
bankruptcy,
gassiness...

Good one, Jeff!

DCF

"Hindsight is not wisdom..."

2006-01-31T21:23:00.000-05:00

"..and second-guessing is not a straegy..."

Nor is pretending everything is fine, but I guess nobody told him that...

DCF

"The Road of Victory is The Road to Bring Our Troops Home..."

2006-01-31T21:22:00.000-05:00

But we've apparently lost the map... One o' them "terrists" musta stole it!

DCF

All right... Back To Business...

2006-01-31T21:18:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness MSNBC.com has video of it going on...

DCF

What the..?!?

2006-01-31T21:14:00.000-05:00

Well... Here's a problem I didn't expect... The radio station just interrupted to GO TO A COMMERCIAL!!!

Trying to find the speech again... Hold tight...

DCF

First mention of 9/11!

2006-01-31T21:13:00.000-05:00

Wow. Not even two minutes in, and he's already mentioned 9/11 and tried to tie it in with Iraq with the "weapons of mass destruction" comment. Pretty slick.

DCF

Aaaaand...We're Off!

2006-01-31T21:05:00.000-05:00

"Tonight the state of our union is strong..."

...if you're a rich white guy!

DCF

Hiya!

2006-01-31T21:03:00.000-05:00

A big howdy to Bobbie and anyone else checking in... Hope you can stick around for a bit!

Still waiting for Dubya to start up. They're just now getting everyone seated. Not very organized, are they?

DCF

Hail to the Thief...

2006-01-31T20:59:00.000-05:00

They're saying on ABC Radio that "this isn't going to be a 'rearview' speech... The president will be looking forward."

Of course he won't be looking back! He doesn't want to see the mess he left back there!

DCF

More on Sheehan...

2006-01-31T20:57:00.000-05:00

Apparently, she opened up an anti-war banner in the House chamber, which is against the law.

She will be held for one hour. (Just long enough for the speech to end.)

DCF

This Just in...

2006-01-31T20:49:00.000-05:00

The excitement has already started!

Apparently, Cindy Sheehan was invited to the SOTU speech. She has just been arrested!

More on this as it continues...

DCF

Whoops...

2006-01-31T20:40:00.000-05:00

The radio is working again. Apparently, the radio station was broadcasting what sounded like someone's cell phone that had been left on. I kept hearing car doors opening and closing, engines running, and voices speaking very quietly in the background. Weird.

But everything's up and running. I'm surrounded by munchies and Coke. I have settled into my comfortable computer chair. There are bratwursts filled with cheese and wrapped in croissants warming up in the oven as a post-speech snack.

To quote the Chimp-in-Chief: "Bring 'em on..."

Back in ten minutes!

Derek
(DCF)

15 Minutes And Counting!

2006-01-31T20:39:00.000-05:00

In fifteen minutes, the State of the Union speech will take place. Currently, though, I'm a bit concerned, as I just turned on my radio to listen, and all I get is dead air. What's the dea with that?

Stay tuned...

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)

We're Going Real-Time!

2006-01-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow evening, "President" Bush will be giving his State of the Union speech.

I'm going to be here, blogging in real-time, for you folks. I had such a good time doing this during the 2004 debates that I've decided to do it again.

Make sure to come by and check it out! Leave a comment or two.

All the best,
Derek
(DCF)